


The Price of a Life

by always_an_anxious_mess



Category: Minecraft - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Dream SMP War, I’m.... not sorry :), No Beta, No Respawning (death means gone), Phil is the dad of techno Wilbur and tommy, Please comment if you like this y’all responding to comments is the highlight of my day, Tommy has Trauma™️, Will Add More Tags as Fic Goes On, Wingfic, because i love them, but i change a few things, everythings platonic, i need to stop starting ficus that i probably wont finish, literally wrote the first chapter and was like “why don’t i post this trash’ so i did, no relationships - Freeform, probably heavy feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 08:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26849173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/always_an_anxious_mess/pseuds/always_an_anxious_mess
Summary: After the duel between Dream and Tommy, Tommy is left critically injured. When it seems like there’s no hope left, the Dream Team comes forward with a deal.
Comments: 255
Kudos: 1166
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. Chapter 1

Once Wilbur reached ten, two arrows were fired simultaneously and both missed. Dream, being the better shot with a bow, managed to nick Tommy’s ear as he dove to the right, off the boardwalk and beneath the water’s surface.

For maybe the first time in his life, Tommy was grateful for his smaller wings, as an eagle like Dream would sink under the weight of his feathers. 

Tommy used his wings to propel himself up the the surface and drew his bow, cursing under his breath as his second shot only ripped a hole in Dream’s hoodie as the man rolled to avoid it. 

Dream’s second shot, however, did not miss.

Tommy heard the arrow whistling, and Sapnap’s shout of “YES!” before he realized what had happened. He drew back his bow, a fierce throbbing in his side as he did so, but his third arrow sank into Dream’s thigh and the masked man fell onto his knee, cursing.

While his opponent was down, Tommy grabbed hold of the boardwalk and tried to haul himself back up. 

Agony suddenly flared in his side and torso as he tried to pull himself back onto the wooden platform, and he cried out in shock. He almost slipped and fell back into the water, but somehow one of his hands latched onto one of the wooden slabs. His other immediately went to the spot of pain, and his eyes followed it. 

There was an arrow, on his right side, stuck in between his ribs. The blood coming from the wound was staining the water around him purple. 

Tommy’s ears were ringing, but he could make out Tubbo screaming. When he looked up, he saw an arrow, pointed right between his eyes. It hadn’t yet been released, but he met the eyes of the one who wielded the bow. The smiling, deadpan mask covered Dream’s eyes and nose, but Tommy could see the way his teeth gritted from the pain of his own wound.

“Do you yield?” The eagle said sharply, a soft gasp of pain coming from him at the end of the sentence. Dream’s knuckles were white from his death grip on the bow.

_I’m going to die, _Tommy thought, terror striking in an instant._ He’s going to kill me._

The finch’s gaze shifted right, and he saw Wilbur. The harrier was shaking, the feathers on his hawk wings were poofed up, signaling he was angry and terrified. Tommy knew that Wil wanted so badly to come and help him. And when he met his older brother’s eyes, he knew exactly what he’d been thinking, almost as clear as his own thoughts.

_“Don’t make me take you home in a box, Tommy,”_ Wilbur was thinking. _“Don’t make me deliver your dead body to our father and brother.”_

In that moment, with Tommy barely clinging to the boardwalk and his wings dangling uselessly as the water saturated his feathers, Tommy knew that his life was not worth this. There were other ways to win the war. He did not have to die like this.

Tommy was not afraid to admit that he was a proud man (man, not boy, like everyone says). In his head, he would have shouted NO defiantly in Dream’s face, the bastard. But in truth? He was scared. He was only sixteen. He was young, he didn’t want to die. 

So, he regretfully swallowed his pride. Tommy coughed, specks of blood coming out of his throat, and met the dead eyes of Dream’s mask.

“I yield,” he rasped, so quietly that he could barely even hear it.

For a second, when the eagle didn’t move, Tommy panicked. Dream had no honor, he was going to kill him anyway! Right as Tommy was going to shout out the words “I yield” again, Dream shakily stood up. The masked man was favoring his right leg considerably, and he threw the bow and notched arrow on the boardwalk, nearly hitting Tommy with it. 

“Tommy!” Tubbo yelled, and the thumping of boots shook the boardwalk. Tommy’s grip was slipping again, and he scrabbled for a hold, tearing at his fingernails and causing some to break and start bleeding. Just before Tommy fell into the water again, two pairs of hands grabbed him, one pair under each arm. He was hauled up with no particular gracefulness. 

Tommy shrieked (a noise that he would later be embarrassed about making), accompanied by several colorful swears as he was pulled up and laid on his wings and back on the boardwalk. He could feel the vibrations of Dream hobbling away with the help of George. 

“I’m sorry I’m sorry!” Tubbo’s voice was high, and his small tan and brown wings flapped incessantly, indicating his stress. 

“Tommy, Tommy listen to me!” Wilbur’s voice was loud, and Tommy nearly flinched away from it, but looked his older brother in the eye anyway. His dark brown and white wings were also flapping like Tubbo’s. Fundy’s reddish-brown ones were similarly active as he applied pressure to Tommy’s wound “You are not allowed to die, do you understand me? That’s an order! Don’t you dare make me take your body back to Techno and Phil. You are not allowed to die, Tommy!”

Tommy gave Wilbur a cheeky grin. “Sir yes sir,” he huffed. The words were followed a second later by a yelp (another embarrassing noise) because he was suddenly pulled into a sitting position.

“We can’t help him here,” Fundy explained as Wilbur glared daggers at him for moving Tommy. “We need to get him back to L’manburg. I salvaged some medical supplies before the fight. It’d be easier to treat him there.”

“I can’t exactly fly or walk right now Fundy,” Tommy was leaning against Tubbo for support, feeling like he was about to pass out from the intense pain. “I can barely stay awake,”

“Don’t close your eyes,” Tubbo begged.

“Trying my best here,” Tommy muttered. 

“I’ll carry him,” Wilbur immediately stood up. “My wings are the strongest and he is my responsibility.”

“General, it’s a long flight,” Fundy started to protest. “We can make something for him to lay in-”

“My little brother is dying, Fundy!” Wilbur yelled. “This is my fault, I should have never let him do this in the first place! He is my responsibility!”

“You couldn’t have stopped me,” Tommy retorted. “I challenged Dream, not you. It would have looked bad for you to take my place. The revolution needs you more than it needs me-”

“Don’t say that Tommy!” Tubbo said sharply, his voice getting slightly higher. “We need to get him home, now! Who the fuck cares who’s carrying him?”

For once, they were all shocked into silence. Then, Fundy and Tubbo gently stood Tommy up, the younger man cursing the whole way. Wilbur got behind him and wrapped both of his arms around Tommy’s stomach and with a lot of pained profanity, they finally got in the air. 

Wilbur was flying low, and slowly, due to not being used to Tommy’s weight. Fundy and Tubbo flew slightly behind him, letting him set the pace. Tommy was barely keeping his eyes open at this point, and he was pretty sure that he was dribbling blood all over Wilbur’s arms and coat. 

The wind was cold for an early fall night. Or maybe that was just Tommy. 

_This could be the last time I’m in the air,_ he thought slowly. And despite the pain, he stretched out his wings from where they had pinned between Tommy’s back and Wilbur’s chest. No one acknowledged the strange move, thought Tommy knew they all had seen it. He knew that they were thinking the same thing he was, that if he was going to die he wanted to kind of fly one more time. 

As the wind whistled through Tommy’s feathers, he let his eyes fall shut, briefly. The arrow in his ribs throbbed and pulsed, and it was more painful with his wings out like this, but the sharp night air felt good against his wings. 

It was peaceful like this way. Tommy felt himself drifting, and drifting. Is this what death felt like? It felt nice, in a way. Tommy felt like he should be concerned that he couldn’t feel Wilbur against him, that the cold air no longer nipped at him, that the arrow in his chest seemed to be a distant memory. But he wasn’t concerned, he just wanted to rest, and wake up with none of this ever having happened.

“Tommy!”

The teen jerked awake, his eyes snapping open as his senses came back in a rush. They were on the ground. When did they land? Wilbur no longer was carrying him, and Tommy was half laid out in the grass, with Wilbur supporting his upper body. 

“What did I tell you about not dying?!” Wilbur shouted, and Tommy finally looked at his older brother. There were tear tracks down his cheeks, and blood stained the front of his blue coat.

“My bad,” Tommy grunted. “I was just going to take a nap.”

“No naps,” Fundy snapped. “It’s crucial that you stay awake, Tommy.”

“I thought we lost you,” Tubbo whispered, and Tommy glanced at his best friend. Tears were still running down the other teen’s cheeks. “When you didn’t wake up, we thought you were gone.”

“Can’t get rid of me that easy,” Tommy cracked a smile, revealing blood teeth. He quickly turned his head to the side and coughed violently, splatters of more blood getting on Wilbur’s coat. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He felt like he was drifting off again.

“Tommy!” Somebody stomped on his wing, Tommy suspected it might have been Fundy, and the teen yelped, his eyes blinking rapidly. 

“Sorry,”

“Bring him here, Wilbur,” Fundy stepped into the door of the damaged caravan. “Lay him on the counter,”

Tommy hissed a quiet “fuck” as Wilbur stood up, but didn’t say another word. He could tell the others were worried about him, just for the fact that he was being quiet. 

He didn’t complain as he was laid out on the counter of the caravan, though it did jolt his wound again. A sharp breath came out from between his gritted teeth, but nothing else. 

“I don’t want to take it out,” Fundy said softly. “But we need to. It might make you bleed out if we don’t have a Health or Regeneration potion.”

“We don’t have anything,” Wilbur muttered bitterly. He was standing by Tommy’s head, softly stroking his hair. Normally, Tommy would slap at him and yell at him to go away, but he didn’t. He knew that Wilbur was trying to comfort Tommy, and himself, in a way. 

“We had backup chests! We still have some brewing stands, we can make one!” Tubbo sounded desperate, and his wings were flapping nervously. 

“Do you have a melon? Or gold? Or nether wart? Or glass bottles?” Fundy asked, suddenly seeming very tired. “We may have the brewing stands but we don’t have the ingredients. Even if we had everything we needed, it would take an hour to break down the gold enough to shape them into nuggets, and then we’d have to cook the melon and the gold for another three hours to get it to fuse. We’d have to shape the bottles from molten glass and let them cool, which would take a day and a half, and the potion itself would take another four hours to brew fully. That’s all time that we don’t have.”

Everyone was silent for a few moments, and Tommy felt a tear roll down his face at what he realized was going to happen.

“I can take the arrow out and stitch him up, but, I’m sorry. I can’t do anything else. Even with the stitches, he’d bleed out without a blood transfusion, and we don’t have anything sterile,” Fundy refused to meet anyone’s eyes.

“I’m a dead man,” Tommy broke the silence with the news that everyone in the caravan now knew.

The next sound was of Tubbo crying out, and then the door slamming shut as the wren ran out of the caravan, sobbing. 

Tommy could hear Wilbur crying too, and felt little plops of tears against his shirt while the General was applying pressure to his wound. Breathing was becoming harder and harder, and his hand was wrapped around the arrow embedded in his chest. 

_I just want this damn thing out,_ Tommy grumbled in his head. _No more crying goddamnit. If I’m going to die, I’m going to die laughing._

But before he could close his fist and yank the bastard arrow out of him, the caravan door opened. Tommy glanced at who was coming in, expecting Tubbo, but who he saw there made him slam a hand down on the counter next to him to alert Wilbur to the sudden intruder.

Wilbur jerked his head around, and Fundy drew his sword. 

It was George, unarmored and unarmed, with nothing but a glass bottle, topped with a cork. Inside was a reddish-pink liquid, filling the bottle almost to the top. His small blue jay’s wings were folded behind his back. Not stiffly, but as if he was relaxed. His feathers twitched every few seconds, signaling his unease with being in close proximity to his enemies.

“What do you want?!” Wilbur spat venomously. “Haven’t you and Dream done enough?”

“Wilbur,” Tubbo’s shaky voice emerged from the doorway to the caravan as he also stepped inside. “He’s- he’s got a-”

“Potion of regeneration,” George finished smoothly, spreading his hands in a surrendering manner. “Dream has a deal for you,”


	2. Chapter 2

For a few seconds after George spoke, there was silence.

Until Tommy broke it of course.

“Listen here you bastard,” Tommy rasped, craning his head to look at the blue jay. “I know you want to be all dramatic and shit but I’m kind of bleeding to death here, so if you could hurry up and get to the point, that’d be fuckin’ fantastic.”

George glanced at Tommy, ignoring how Fundy was still threatening him with the a sword. “Very well. I’ll make it simple. The regeneration potion for your surrender.”

The finch let his head thump against the counter, barely keeping his eyes open. He didn’t want to die, but he didn’t want to surrender either. It felt like cheating, in a way. Dream fatally injured him, and then stepped in to make sure that L’manburg surrendered in exchange for Tommy’s life.

“I agree,” Wilbur said immediately, but Tommy was already drifting off again. He barely heard his older brother. The finch’s eyes fluttered shut as he vaguely heard panicked voices start to shout around him.

By the time they had poured the potion down his throat and made him swallow it, he had already drifted away for the second time that night.

———

Wilbur panicked when he had turned back around and realized that Tommy had passed out again, his breathing fast and shallow. He had immediately lunged for the potion in George’s hands, snatched it out, and poured it down his little brother’s throat within the next few seconds.

Fundy pushed past Wilbur and sat Tommy’s unconscious body up, running his fingers down Tommy’s neck over and over until the finch swallowed. 

Wilbur let out a cry of relief as the wound in Tommy’s chest started to glow with a pinkish light. Fundy gently pulled out the arrow, careful not to break it, but no blood spurted from the wound. The regeneration potion was working. In the next few hours, Tommy would wake up again. 

George was still in the caravan, being held at sword point by Tubbo now instead of Fundy. The blue jay seemed to look slightly sick at the amount of blood that was on everyone’s clothes, and the blood that had been dripping from the counter. 

Wilbur ran his hands through Tommy’s fluffy hair gently as Fundy laid him back down. The hawk took a deep breath before turning to George and meeting his eyes.

“What are the terms of surrender?” Wilbur asked.

“We will meet you at your gates at sunset tomorrow,” George didn’t actually answer the question. “We will bring a written document that all of you will sign stating that you agree to surrender to the Dream SMP. We will negotiate then.”

There was a long pause, and then the blue jay spoke up again.

“Am I allowed to leave now? I’m still being held at sword point and I told Nick that if I don’t return to base by midnight then he has permission to burn the rest of this place down.”

Wilbur met Tubbo’s gaze, who nodded and stepped away from the caravan door. The wren kept his sword out, but lowered it away from George. The blue jay left, quickly, and without another word.

There was silence for several minutes after that, with Tubbo sitting on the counter by Tommy’s feet and Wilbur standing next to his little brother’s head, still petting his hair. Fundy was sitting on the floor opposite the caravan with his knees pulled up to his chest. 

“We’ve surrendered,” Tubbo whispered finally, breaking the silence. “What are they going to do to us now? Where will we go?”

“After this is over, I’m going to see my father and brother out of the country,” Wilbur sighed. “I’ll wrangle Tommy into coming. Maybe he’ll stay put for once.” Meeting the gaze of Tubbo and Fundy, his expression softened. “The both of you will be welcome there.”

“If they don’t decide to execute us,” Fundy said hopelessly.

There was a short pause before Wilbur responded. “Tubbo and Tommy are just children. They will not exempt them from their actions, but they won’t execute them.”

“But they might execute you and I,” Fundy pointed out.

Wilbur didn’t answer. What was he supposed to say? He had no idea what was going to happen. L’manburg had surrendered. There wasn’t anything he could do to protect his men now. He just had to hope that Dream, George, and Sapnap took pity on them, or at least, Fundy, Tommy, and Tubbo.

Wilbur clenched his fists and made his way out of the caravan.

“Where are you going?” Tubbo called after him, sounding worried. 

Wilbur turned to look at the teen as his wings spread, preparing for flight. “To get Tommy a proper bed,”

——— 

The duel had taken place in late evening. Tommy didn’t wake up until after noon the next day, mere hours before they were to meet Dream, Sapnap, and George. 

The last thing the finch remembered was passing out on the counter in the entry of the caravan, so he was surprised to find himself wrapped in wool in the back room. He was laying on some spare pillows that weren’t very firm, and was wrapped in a ratty wool blanket and had Tubbo’s coat draped over him too. 

Tommy felt much better than he had when he fell asleep, and his brain sort of reminded him that George had given them a regeneration potion in order to save the finch’s life.

But he wouldn’t do that, Tommy was puzzled. He wouldn’t just give his enemies a potion of regeneration in order to save one of their lives. 

_Oh fuck. Wilbur. What did you do?_

Tommy’s heart sank and he quickly broke, and he threw the blanket and Tubbo’s coat off of him. He stood up and shivered, realizing that his own coat and shirt were missing. Tommy looked down to where the arrow had been, and found a jagged scar where the arrow had punctured his skin. But that was it, no blood, no nothing. 

The finch picked up Tubbo’s coat and slipped it on, his wings slipping through the slits easily due to him and Tubbo having similar wingspans. 

He held the coat closed with one of his hands and stepped out of the caravan, shielding his eyes with his other hand from the sun. When his eyes finally adjusted, he saw the sorry sight that was L’manburg.

Half of the walls had collapsed, craters still littered the ground, and there were scorch marks on the side of the caravan. It was surprisingly brisk for September, despite the lack of clouds in the sky. 

“Tommy!” There was a shout coming from Tommy’s right, and he turned. Tubbo was sprinting towards him, dropping the basket of potatoes from the farms that he was harvesting. 

Tubbo collided with him and Tommy nearly fell over, but somehow Tubbo managed to keep them both upright. Probably because of the wren’s active wings. 

“We were wondering when you’d wake up! It’s so good to see you walking,” Tubbo grinned at him, hugging him fiercely. 

_And not covered in blood, I bet,_ Tommy thought, but pushed it out of his mind. “Well it’s good to not be dying. Not the most pleasant experience as you can imagine.”

Tubbo laughed awkwardly, seeming slightly uncomfortable.

“Is he up?” Tommy could here Fundy from the other side of the caravan. Fundy wasn’t wearing his coat when he came around the side, and his arms and the front of his chest was soaked in water. “How are you feeling Tommy?”

“Better,” the finch replied. “Cold, mostly.”

“Yeah it is a bit chilly today,” Fundy agreed. “Sorry for taking your coat and your shirt, I’m trying to wash them. Tubbo’s was the least stained, so I wanted to leave you with something.”

“It’s fine,” Tommy shrugged. “You could’ve taken me out to dinner first though,” 

That drew a real laugh out of the both of them. 

“You’re definitely feeling better then,” Fundy grinned. 

Tommy returned a smile of his own, but in truth he didn’t feel as normal as he thought. Everything seemed fine, at least on the outside. Nothing hurt. But there was this feeling that the finch couldn’t get rid of, and as much as he hated to admit it, maybe almost dying had shaken him more than he was allowing himself to think. 

His feathers were definitely twitching in a way that he had never seen them do before. The teen wasn’t quite sure what was wrong, but he knew that it would fade away eventually. At least, that’s what he hoped. 

“Where’s Wilbur?” Tommy asked. 

“He went to send his letter,” Tubbo said brightly.

“Letter?”

“To Phil and Techno,” Fundy explained. “He wrote to let them know you were both okay, in case they heard about the duel, among other things.”

“Well, am I cleared for duty doctor?” Tommy asked sarcastically. 

“Tommy,” Fundy gave him a look. “You nearly died last night. Take a break,”

“Revolution waits for no man,” Tommy chuckled, stepping back into the caravan to search for spare clothes. 

He didn’t catch the look Tubbo and Fundy shared when Tommy’s back was turned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy might be a bit OOC because, y’know, trauma.
> 
> If you have questions, post ‘em in the comments cause I like responding to them.


	3. Chapter 3

It was late afternoon by the time Wilbur returned. Tommy had been helping Fundy wash the coats, and he was sure that the cardinal was keeping an eye on him. 

Which, honestly? Fair. Tommy felt like throwing up the entire time at the sight of his blood staining the fabric and the water they were using, and he was sure that his wings were betraying his true emotions. The old shirt he had found in the back of the caravan was soaking wet, which did not help him against the frigid air.

So, when he heard the powerful wing beats that could only be from a bird of prey, he looked up and spotted the underside of his brother’s wings. The sun was low in the sky, and Tommy had to slightly shield his eyes in order to spot him, but he recognized him right away. 

“Wilbur!” Tubbo shouted cheerfully from where he’d been tending to the farm. Tommy watched his older brother circle the remnants of L’manburg as he started to drift down to the ground. 

Grinning, Tommy stood up and angled his body so that he was facing the sun. He spread his wings open wide and awkwardly tilted the undersides up at Wilbur. They were family. Wilbur knew Tommy’s wing pattern like the back of his hand, just as well as Tommy knew the hawk’s. 

Tommy instantly knew when his older brother recognized him, as Wilbur faltered and fell several feet before catching himself. At this point, he was low enough to land safely. The minute his boots touched the ground, Tommy was sprinting over and punching him in the shoulder.

“You’re awake,” Wilbur’s voice was barely above a whisper, and he was barely keeping a laugh out of his voice.

“Well, it’ll take more than arrow to put me out of the fight for our freedom,” Tommy grinned, ignoring the nagging feeling in his chest that he couldn’t quite place.

The relieved look on Wilbur’s face fell. “You don’t remember?” 

“Remember...?” Tommy trailed off as the thought came back to him. _George, Dream, and Sapnap wouldn’t give us a regeneration potion out of the goodness of their hearts._ His feathers started to twitch again, something he barely noticed anymore due to how often it happened. He desperately shoved the thought away. _No, no, NO_ “It’s all a bit foggy, to be honest. I don’t recall much.” His voice had, embarrassingly, taken a higher, desperate pitch. _Please let me be wrong please let me be wrong please let me be wrong please-_

Wilbur looked to the grass beneath their feet, refusing to meet Tommy’s eyes. “We’ve surrendered, Tommy. They asked for our surrender in exchange for the potion to save your life.”

Tommy started trembling. He didn’t know what was wrong with himself. Why was he acting this way? Why couldn’t he blow up in his brother’s face about how dumb he was for making that decision? Why couldn’t he do ANYTHING?

“Tommy?” Tubbo’s voice was soft, and he sounded concerned. He felt a hand touch his shoulder.

Tommy flinched violently away at the contact, pushing away Tubbo’s hand and nearly stumbling over his own feet in a panic. What was wrong? He didn’t know. His eyes were wide and he couldn’t keep his hands still. They shook so bad he could barely see them. Instinctively, as he stumbled away from the group, his wings spread, the feathers sticking up in a way that indicated he was frightened.

Tommy turned and ran, taking off the ground and beating his wings hard to get himself in the air. He heard someone shout his name as he flew upwards in a step incline, but his ears were ringing so bad he had no idea who it had been. 

It wasn’t until he realized he was above the clouds that his heart stopped pounding a million miles a minute. Tommy let himself level out, the wind pushing through his hair and his feathers comfortingly. He looked down at his hands, which were still shaking uncontrollably.

_I just need a place to calm down,_ Tommy took a deep breath and clutched his hands together against his chest to still their incessant trembling. He scanned the ground below him and, surprisingly, found a section of L’manburg’s walls that was still intact.

He halted and let himself dive. His hair blew upward with the force and the gusts of wind snapped at his clothes and wings. The rush of wind was always the best part for him when he landed like this. It made him feel alive. The wind whistling past him-

Whistling.

An arrow whistling through the air and sticking into his side.

Tommy shrieked and his hand went to his side, finding no arrow buried there. But he was falling. In his panic, he had abruptly pulled out of the dive, but had not let his wings catch him. Now he was free falling out of the air, trying to rotate so his wings would catch the wind correctly. 

Right before he was about to hit the top of the wall, his wings snapped out correctly and he beat them to keep himself in place.

He was breathing hard as he let his boots touch the top of the wall, collapsing to his hands and knees as soon as he regained some semblance of balance. His wings folded in, pressing tightly against his back as he tried to calm himself down.

A thud, followed by the vibration of the wall let Tommy know that someone else had joined him. The landing was too light to be Wilbur, and too loud to be Fundy. 

Tommy looked up and saw Tubbo sitting down at the edge of the wall, the teen’s legs dangling off the edge as his wings folded inward.

“Breathe,” Tubbo told him encouragingly, giving him a kind smile. “Just breathe,”

A few seconds later, Tommy caught enough air in order to form a proper response.

“I am breathing, thank you,” he snapped, but there was no heart behind his words. “I’m quite good at it. I’ve had lots of   
experience,”

Tubbo laughed and held out a hand to help Tommy right himself. The finch ignored it and sat up, sitting on legs in a kneeling position. His hands were still trembling violently as he clutched them together and put them in his lap. He held onto them so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His feathers were twitching rapidly.

“What happened?” Tubbo asked calmly after a minute or two of silence. “Why’d you fly off? Why’d you fall?”

“I- I don’t know,” Tommy fidgeted slightly. “I was shaking so much, I couldn’t think straight. I just knew something was wrong. I was so.. so....” 

“Scared?”

“No!” Tommy said quickly. “I don’t get scared. It’s not a word in my vocabulary.”

“You’re allowed to be scared Tommy,” Tubbo gazed at him with pity and reassurance in his eyes. 

The look made Tommy want to punch him in his face, best friend or not. Tommy didn’t need PITY, he didn’t need to be REASSURED. He was JUST FINE.

His wings told Tubbo otherwise.

“I’m not scared of you, or Wilbur, or Fundy,” Tommy said after another pause. “There was no reason to be scared.”

“So you were scared,” Tubbo grinned at him, raising an eyebrow. Tommy felt like punching him, again. His smile faded and the pity   
came back in his eyes. “Did you have a panic attack?”

“I don’t get those,” the finch said dismissively.

“Everybody gets those, Tommy. Don’t lie to me,”

Tommy didn’t respond. When he unclasped his hands, they no longer shook as bad, and his breathing was becoming steadier. 

“You’re allowed to feel like that, Tommy,” Tubbo continued. “You almost died. I’m surprised you’re walking around as if nothing happened. If me, Fundy, and Wil didn’t know you as well as we do, we wouldn’t have known anything was wrong.”

Another silence. The pauses in between their conversation weren’t awkward, which Tommy was grateful for. 

“What made you fall?” 

“I’m not sure,” Tommy hesitated. “I was diving, like I usually do when I land. The wind... I think the wind sounded like... like...”

“Like an arrow?” Tubbo asked, looking directly at him. Tommy broke eye contact and stared at his hands instead. He didn’t need to answer, Tubbo already knew it was true. “So, when you were flying, it sounded like an arrow. So your mind took you back to the boardwalk. That’s what made you fall.”

It was a rhetorical question. Both of the teens knew that was the answer.

A few more seconds of comfortable silence passed, before Tubbo stood up and offered a hand to Tommy. 

“Come on,” the wren said softly. “Wilbur’s worried about you. He’ll want to know that you’re okay now. It took a lot of convincing to   
get him to let me come in his place.” 

When Tommy looked at him doubtfully, Tubbo continued.

“I get now what the problem is. He will too, once you explain it to him. I’m pretty sure he has a clue already. This isn’t the first war he’s been in. Other people have dealt with this, I’m sure he has too.”

Tommy reluctantly took Tubbo’s offer up, and they both spread their wings. But before they took off, Tubbo smiled at him, and Tommy knew that maybe things would be okay.

Tommy desperately ignored the voice in his head that said otherwise as the flew down from the wall and towards Wilbur and Fundy. He paused midair, trying to think of another way to land without the whistling. He’d always dived, he’d done it since he was a fledgling first learning to fly. Tommy had never imagined not doing it. 

Tubbo nudged one of Tommy’s wings with one of his own, smiling at him when the finch caught his eyes. Tubbo angled his wings and started down in a shallow, circling dive, similar to what Wilbur had used earlier. 

Tommy followed his lead, the movement a little foreign for him, but it worked. There wasn’t any whistling. It was a very slow maneuver, and Tommy much preferred diving, but it wasn’t an option at the moment. 

Wilbur threw his arms around Tommy the minute his feet touched the ground. “I was so worried about you, when you ran, and then you fell. I thought you weren’t going to catch yourself.”

Tommy, with shaky hands, wrapped his arms around his older brother, returning the hug.

“I’m acting like Techno did, aren’t I?” The finch’s voice was unsteady, and he kept his volume low so only Wilbur could hear it. “Like he did when you both came back from the war. I’m acting like he had described. I don’t want that, Wil.” 

“It’s going to be okay, Tommy,” the hawk hugged him fiercely. “We may have lost, but you’re going to see Techno and dad soon, after tonight.”

Tommy straightened up and looked at his older brother in the eyes. “You mean we’re going to see Techno and dad.” It was a statement, not a question.

A flash of regret shone in Wilbur’s eyes. “Yes,” he said, clearly lying through his teeth. “I meant we,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so not sorry for the amount of angst that will be in the next few chapters. And I’m not sorry for the amount of angst in this one. 
> 
> If you have questions, leave ‘em in the comments. I like answering them


	4. Chapter 4

_When Wilbur landed, he was greeted with hostile stares from George and Sapnap, but Dream looked indifferent as always, due to that mask of his._

_“I’ve come to negotiate-” Wilbur tried to start, but Sapnap cut him off._

_“We’re negotiating the terms of your surrender tonight,” the buzzard raised his sword and pointed it at the hawk. “You’ve wasted your time by coming here.”_

_“This is between me and Dream, two leaders of opposing countries,” Wilbur replied._

_“You’re not a leader of anything but a group of merry misfits,” George snickered. “You’ve surrendered. You don’t have a country,”_

_Wilbur looked away from them and at Dream, who’s wings were twitching slightly with amusement._

_“I wanted to discuss something about our surrender now, where my men don’t have the ability to protest.”_

_Dream stared at him for a moment, and then tilted his head to the side and put up a hand as a signal for Sapnap to lower his sword. “I’m listening.”_

———

Tommy was glad that the sun was behind them as they waited for Dream and the others to arrive, as the sunset seemed brighter than usual today. After leaving it out to dry, Tommy had put his coat back on. It was still damp, and there was a suspicious stain on the front that made him sick every time he looked at it, but it was better than just a thin cotton shirt.

Wilbur had been adamant that they present themselves unarmed, but both Tommy and Tubbo had secretly strapped hidden knives on the underneath of their coats, in case something went wrong. 

The sun continued to sink below the horizon, with no sign of Dream, George or Sapnap. Tommy glanced over at Wilbur, who’s feathers were twitching uneasily. Something was up with his older brother, the hawk had never been very good at hiding it. 

Finally, powerful wing beats could be heard in the distance, and soon enough Dream had landed, his massive wings folding against his back. Sapnap was only a moment behind, followed by George.

All three were wearing armor, not netherite armor, but armor nonetheless. Sapnap and George both held diamond swords, while Dream had-

Dream had a bow. 

A splash.

An arrow flying through the air.

A cry of victory.

Tommy clenched his fists as his hands started to shake. He felt blood roll down his palms as his fingernails sliced through his skin. He felt a hand on his shoulder. Tubbo. Tommy tried his hardest not to flinch away from his friend’s touch.

“Wilbur,” Dream said calmly, his voice nor his wings betrayed any emotion. Though a part of Tommy was satisfied to see a bandage wrapped around the eagle’s thigh and how he was favoring that leg.

“Dream,” Wilbur responded.

“Our agreement still stands?” The eagle cocked his head to the side.

“Agreement? What agreement?” Tommy burst out right as Wilbur tried to answer. 

“Your president has made another deal with me,” Dream shrugged, and Tommy shivered looking at his mask.

“And that is?” Fundy demanded. 

Dream looked to Wilbur, and Tommy could almost feel the smug grin that must be under that mask. The eagle’s wings lifted and half spread, displaying his confidence.

Wilbur looked to the ground and refused to meet anyone’s eyes. The hawk’s wings drooped as he spoke.

“The safety and pardons of you three, as long as you leave the country, in exchange-” Wilbur’s voice stopped, and swallowed. Tommy’s heart dropped. “In exchange for my life.”

There was a pause as Tommy processed what his older brother had just said. Tubbo let out a cry, and Fundy looked as horrified as Tommy felt. 

But despite his... his fear of Dream, Tommy felt a familiar anger burn it’s way through his chest. The same anger that had lead to the duel. He refused to fight it down. Because that was his BROTHER. Dream was NOT going to take his brother from him. 

But instead of blowing up, like he had done last time, a cold, icy fury replaced it. Tommy realized that subconsciously his wings had spread fully and the feathers had puffed out, displaying his anger to the others. Tubbo was looking at him, fear in his eyes. 

“No,” Tommy growled. 

“Excuse me?” Dream asked, a laugh in his voice. 

“I said, no,” the finch repeated himself, his voice low and full of anger. 

“Tommy...” Wilbur started, uneasiness in his brown gaze. “Tommy this isn’t up to you.”

“Like hell it isn’t,” Tommy replied.

Wilbur straightened up and tried to put on his commanding stare. “Tommy, stand down. That’s an order.”

Tommy met his older brother’s gaze unflinchingly. 

“Tommy...” Tubbo sounded worried.

“I said that’s an order, soldier!” Wilbur barked, his time in the proper military showing through. “I’m your general, now stand down!”

“If you’re the captain, that’d make this a mutiny,” Tommy replied coolly. Wilbur actually startled at that. While his older brother processed what Tommy had just said, he turned to Dream. “Whatever you want, I will do, in exchange for their lives and safe passage out of SMP.”

Dream seemed mildly interested in the offer. “You wish to take his place?” The eagle sounded amused.

“No Tommy!” Tubbo cried. 

“Whatever it takes,” Tommy replied. 

Wilbur jerked forward and grabbed Tommy, trying to push the finch behind him. “We had a deal, Dream,” the hawk said  
desperately. “My life in exchange for theirs. That was the deal!”

“And I’ve now been presented with a new one,” Dream shrugged. “I’m afraid you’re not the one I’m negotiating with anymore, Wilbur.”

“You bastard, we had a deal!” Wilbur cried. When the hawk realized that whatever he said wouldn’t affect the eagle, he turned to Tommy. “Tommy don’t do this,” he begged. “Please don’t.”

Tommy refused to meet his eyes, and instead pushed Wilbur’s hands away and turned towards Dream.

“I’ve feeling generous this evening,” the eagle said. “Given that I’ve almost killed you once, and the fact that you’re a minor, I’ll offer you a proposal.”

Tommy raised his chin in order to gesture for Dream to continue. Wilbur had fallen silent, but Tommy could feel him trembling.

“Stand against that wall,” Dream pointed to one of the still standing remains of one of L’manburg’s walls. “Spread your wings, and allow us to fire five arrows at you. We won’t hit you with them at all. If you close your eyes for more than two seconds, our deal is off.”

Tommy felt his blood run cold, his anger and righteous fury melting away in an instant. His hands started shaking again and his breathing started

“What’s the point of that?!” Fundy demanded.

“Think of it as a lesson,” Sapnap offered with a smirk. “That you four are at our mercy here. At any time we could decide the deal is off and kill you where you stand.”

“You could try,” snapped Tubbo, in a tone that Tommy had never heard him speak in before. 

“We were going to do the same thing for Wilbur,” George pointed out. “We weren’t going to actually kill him, just scare him a bit.”

“Then let me do it!” Wilbur grabbed Tommy’s arm and tried to pull him back. “I’ll do it, let me!”

“You’re not the one we’re negotiating with today,” Dream said dismissively. “In exchange for your lives, as long as you pack up your things and leave the country by tomorrow at noon, Tommy will allow us to shoot five arrows at him, and as long as he does not  
close his eyes for more than two seconds and stands still for all five.”

Tommy was still shaking a bit, the whistling of an arrow echoing in his ears over and over again. He pushed past Wilbur, and held  
out a violently trembling hand. Dream reached forward and took it, shaking it once.

“Tommy no,” Wilbur pleaded. “You don’t have to do this.”

“They aren’t going to shoot me Wilbur, just at me,” Tommy’s voice was unsteady as he walked over to the wall Dream had indicated earlier.

“If we have to keep you three back by force, we will,” George told them as Sapnap took the bow and an arrow from Dream. Dream then went and placed a lantern against the wall, as the sun had sunk low enough in the sky that there wasn’t much light left. 

Tommy turned and pressed his back and head against the wooden wall, spreading out his wings to their full length. His feathers  
twitched as Tommy let his hands fall to his sides, his arms slightly away from his torso. His whole body trembled as Sapnap drew the arrow back in the bow, aiming at him from only fifteen feet away. 

A twang from the bow being released. 

A splash.

A short whistle as the arrow flying through the air.

A cry of triumph.

Thunk, went the arrow as it buried in the wood by Tommy’s head. Pain blossomed from Tommy’s ear and he tried his hardest to not jerk his head away. The arrowhead had skimmed just past his left ear and sliced a chunk off, similarly to what Dream had done in the duel with his right ear.

“Oops,” Sapnap grinned at him. “My bad. At least they’ll match now,”

Tubbo, Wilbur, and Fundy let out cries of anger at the fact that Tommy had been hit. But Dream held up a sword as a warning for them to stay back.

“Gimme that,” George snatched the bow from Sapnap and grabbed an arrow from the quiver that was now on the ground. “You weren’t supposed to hit him.” 

George drew back the bow, and for a moment, in Tommy’s minds eye, it was Dream standing there, not George. He didn’t have time to panic as the blue jay let the arrow loose and it impaled the wood beside Tommy’s right wing, not too far from his shoulder. 

The finch was still shaking violently as Dream came up and took the bow from George. It was becoming tiring to keep his wings held up like this. 

When Dream drew back his arrow, Tommy nearly vomited. Scenes from the boardwalk were flashing in between the present. Dream’s arrow whistled slightly and hit the lantern, causing a crash as the glass broke. Tommy jumped at the sound, the noise having jolted him back into the present. 

“My bad,” Tommy could practically hear the smirk in Dream’s voice. “My aim’s a little off tonight,”

_Just get it over with just get it over with just get it over with just get it over with_ Tommy thought desperately.

Dream drew back another arrow and released it before Tommy had time to panic even more. It impaled the wood just above the finch’s head, shaving off a bit of hair. 

Tommy closed his eyes for a brief moment, but forced them open once more. His jaw hurt from how much he’d been gritting his teeth together. He was hyperventilating at this point. Just one more. One more and that’s it. 

“I think I know what’ll make my aim better,” Dream chirped. He lowered his hood, and Tommy saw tufts of blonde hair before his attention drew to something else. 

Dream was moving his mask.

The eagle pushed his mask over to the side of his head, so that way only Tommy could see his face and not the others. Dream was good-looking, with shaggy blonde hair, bright green eyes, and absolutely covered in freckles. 

But there was nothing kind about his expression as Dream closed one eye, raised the bow, and fired with a smirk on his face.

The arrow sunk into the wood in between Tommy’s arm and his torso. An inch to the left, and the arrow would’ve gone straight into the newly formed scar that had been from the duel. 

Tommy couldn’t take it any longer, he fell to his knees, his breaths fast and shallow as his hand pressed against his side where his scar was. He half-expected blood to be running from between his fingers, but his coat and shirt were not darkening. 

He felt hands pull him up, voices that were concerned, desperate, begging. He couldn’t hear what they said. 

Whistling. Whistling. Whistling.

The shattering of glass.

A splash.

A cry of triumph.

Screaming.

Looking back, Tommy realized that he was the one screaming.

He fought the hands that touched him. Panicking. Panicking. He pushed them away and tried to break free long enough to fly away. He couldn’t though. The hands always came back. 

_Don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me don’t touch me._

At some point, one of his hands found the knife in his jacket. When he pulled it out to fight off the people touching him, everyone let go. Tommy jumped at the opportunity and backed away, too panicked to try and fly off. He brandished the knife, swiping at anyone who got too close. When he was sure that no one was going to come anywhere near him, he sank to his knees and put his hands over his ears, screwing his eyes shut tightly.

_Stop stop stop stop stop stop_ he cried. Desperately trying to get the sound of whistling out of his head. 

Slowly, much too slowly, the noise faded and he was able to calm down. Tommy had no idea how long it had been. Seconds? Minutes? Hours?

His whole body trembled like a leaf, and when he finally calmed enough to recognize his surroundings, he realized that he was still holding the knife. He dropped it, seeing blood staining the blade. 

Tommy looked up and saw Wilbur nursing a gash on his arm, at least twenty feet away. Fundy was helping, while Tubbo stood hesitantly about ten feet from the finch. 

Tommy saw Dream, who was staring at him with an odd look on his face. His face. The eagle wasn’t wearing his mask. Later, Tommy would realize that the expression the eagle had been making was horror. 

Tubbo took a step towards Tommy, catching his attention. The wren had a hand outstretched to his friend, and carefully, Tommy took it, his body shaking as he was helped into a standing position.

“I’m sorry,” his voice trembled. 

“You’ve got nothing too be sorry for,” Wilbur and Tubbo said at the same time.

Wilbur continued. “I should’ve known that you don’t like to be touched while you’re panicking. Techno was the same way when we first got back. We tried not to let you near him when it happened. You were just a kid.” Wilbur paused and shook his head. “You still are a kid. I should’ve never dragged you out here in the first place.”

“Let’s go back,” Fundy suggested. “We need to pack up what we want to take with us, and both of you need rest.”

No one argued with the cardinal, but Tommy felt awful the rest of the night. Tubbo eventually sent Tommy and Wilbur to sleep shortly after the stars came out, promising that he and Fundy would join them soon.

Tommy didn’t sleep that night.


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy must have eventually fallen asleep, as he sat up quickly, clamping a hand over his mouth in order to keep from screaming. He was panting, his clothes and hair soaked with sweat. He didn’t have to look at his wings to know that his feathers were sticking up from the fear head experienced in his dream. 

After about a minute, he was able to calm down enough to look around. Tubbo was still asleep, drooling on a ratty pillow they had in the back room of the caravan. Both Wilbur and Fundy were gone.

Tommy checked out the window of the caravan and saw that it was morning, maybe about eight. He remembered falling asleep as the moon was getting low in the sky, no later than five. Less than three hours of sleep wasn’t a good idea when they had a long flight ahead of them, but it would have to do. 

Tommy got up, picking at his sweat soaked shirt before going into the back room to see if they had anything else he could wear.   
Luckily, he spotted the shirt he had worn when he first flew out with Wilbur to start L’manburg. The red and white quarter sleeve. It felt like years had passed since he wore this, but it couldn’t have been longer than a month or two. Tommy gave it a quick sniff, as he couldn’t remember if it had been washed since then. It smelled alright. Honestly, he probably smelled worse than the shirt did. 

Tommy changed quickly, grabbing his coat and pulling on boots before leaving the caravan.

He found Fundy packing satchels just outside the caravan.

“You’re awake,” the cardinal noted.

“Yeah, not all of us rise at dawn,” Tommy yawned. 

“I only got up an hour ago,” Fundy corrected him, putting another water bottle in the satchel. “How long is the flight to Phil’s from here?”

“I dunno, three hours or so? I haven’t gone much back and forth,” Tommy shrugged and rolled his shoulders. “You think we’ll ever come back to this place?”

“I know I won’t,” the cardinal snorted, before his face softened. “Too many bad memories. We fought, we lost. What else is there? We don’t really have a reason to come back.”

“You’re right,” Tommy agreed. “Where’s Wilbur?”

“Tending to the farm,” Fundy rolled his eyes. “I tried telling him to let me pack some of the stuff we harvested, but he told me not to worry about it.”

“Yeah, Dad’s house is on a farm. He has all that. Leave it for anyone who comes in to grab it.” 

“Don’t know who’d want to,” Fundy shrugged.

“Anything you need me to do?” 

“Wake up Tubbo, will you? We called it a night around midnight, so he’s still gotten about eight hours of sleep. He can help us pack.”

Tommy grinned. “I’ve got just the idea.”

Two minutes later, indignant shouting came from inside the caravan, and in a few seconds, a soaked Tubbo came out and shook the water out of his wings. 

All four of them had a good laugh about it. 

———

As agreed, they all left shortly before noon. It was warmer that day, so Tommy had taken off his coat and tied it around his waist before they took off. Dream, George, and Sapnap had all arrived in order to ensure that they were leaving. None of them looked Tommy in the eyes once. 

Dream had put his mask on again, but he left the hood down, revealing blonde hair that stuck up in all directions. Tommy tried not to look at him too much, as just knowing the eagle was there was making his hands shake uncontrollably and his feathers twitching.

He managed keep himself calm long enough for them to finish packing what they wanted, hang their satchels in a way that wouldn’t affect their flying, and take off. As Tommy flew away from L’manburg, he silently hoped he would never have to see that place ever again.

The flight was silent, for the most part. It was a windy day, so every now and then Tommy would have to clamp his hands over his ears to block out the whistling so he didn’t panic and fall out of the sky. Every time he removed his hands, either Tubbo, Wilbur, or Fundy would fly close enough to brush one of their wings against one of his.

An odd gesture, but Tommy appreciated it. In the last hour of the flight, the wind died down and he didn’t have to worry about it much anymore. The whistling only bothered him if he flew too fast, so he tried to keep his speed normal, not noticing that the others were letting him set the pace. 

When Tommy finally saw the large brick house that he had called home for so many years, he let out a sigh of relief. Wilbur let out a whoop, grinning.

“There it is!” The hawk shouted. Tubbo and Fundy also smiled, and Tommy was grateful they were almost home, as he was exhausted from the lack of sleep. 

As they neared, Tommy saw both Techno and Phil out in the fields. A big smile stretched out across his face.

“Hey! Hey up here!” He shouted when he was finally close enough to be heard. A second later, he saw Phil’s spotted wings unfold as he took to the air, Techno’s reddish-orange wings opening only a second behind him. 

Tommy stopped and hovered, Tubbo, Fundy, and Wilbur doing the same as the owl and the kite both flew up to meet them. 

“You’re back!” Phil exclaimed once they had neared each other. “I thought you’d come to visit eventually, but not so soon! I didn’t know you were bringing guests, either.”

“Yeah,” Tommy shrugged. “This is Tubbo and Fundy, Tubbo and Fundy, this is my dad, Phil, and the middle brother, Techno,”

“We- we’ll probably be staying for a while,” Wilbur said before Techno could protest to be introduced as just “the middle brother”. 

“What happened?” Phil asked.

Tommy and Wilbur shared a look, one that Tommy quickly broke away from and shivered slightly.

“I’ll tell you later,” Wilbur sighed.

“Alright then,” Phil gave them both a weird look. “Come on down. It’s about time I start making dinner anyways. And since you all are back, I’ll make something special for dessert.”

Wilbur, Tommy, and Techno all brightened up, which startled a confused laugh out of Tubbo.

“Is it-” Techno started to ask, but Phil cut him off.

“Yes, it is,” the owl laughed. 

“I call dibs on helping you make it!” Tommy screeched, before getting shoved away by Wilbur midair.

“No way you gremlin child, it’s my turn!” 

Tommy was about to snap back when he realized Phil and Techno were diving, both going to land. Fundy followed suit, as did Wilbur.

_Diving..._ Tommy’s face fell slightly, and he felt Tubbo’s wing brush his slightly. 

But instead of doing the circling pattern that he had done last time, a determined look fell over Tommy’s face, and he let himself fall. 

“Tommy no!” Tubbo shouted, but his voice was swept away by the wind. As the ground neared, and he hadn’t panicked, maybe this would work! Maybe last time was only a one time thing!

It wasn’t.

Suddenly, an arrow flying towards him. Tommy shrieked and his wings flung themselves open, but didn’t catch correctly. He landed on the ground with a loud thump, pain shooting up his bum and wrists as he tried to catch himself. 

He took a few seconds to try to calm down, one of his shaking hands reaching up and touching the spot where he had been shot. Tommy closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and then shakily stood up. 

“Sorry, just...” he trailed off as he felt Tubbo lightly touch his shoulder. “Just lost my balance.”

When he finally looked up, he saw that Wilbur had flung out one of his wings to stop Techno or Phil from coming to help him. Phil was looking at Wilbur, confused, but Techno was staring straight at Tommy with an odd look on his face. 

Tommy swallowed nervously and tucked his wings stiffly against his back. Wilbur folded his wing in also, seeing that the finch was allowing Tubbo to touch him now. Tommy clasped his hands together and held them against his chest, trying to stop them from shaking as they all went inside. Techno’s eyes were on him the whole time, that same expression on his face.

“Since you both seemed so determined to fight about who helps with dessert,” Phil raised an eyebrow at Wilbur and Tommy, seemingly have forgotten Tommy’s fall. “Once you unpack, you both will help me with both dinner and dessert.”

“Can I help too sir?” Tubbo asked. “I don’t know how to cook that well. I’d love to learn,”

“Of course, and it’s just Phil,” the owl smiled. “Go unpack, you lot. Techno, help me with the butter,”

Techno silently went with Phil, giving Tommy a weird look before leaving. 

Tommy shook the feeling off and turned to Tubbo. “You’ll have to share a room with me, I have two beds in my room since Techno and I used to share one. Unless you rather share the guest room with Fundy,” 

“That’s fine,” Tubbo smiled. “I honestly have gotten so used to sleeping pressed between you lot, having my own bed will be nice.”

Tommy laughed. “Glad to hear it big man. Fundy, the guest room’s just down there,” the finch pointed down the hall past the kitchen. “You get your own bathroom, lucky bastard.”

“What’s a bathroom?” Fundy asked sarcastically, getting punched in the shoulder by Wilbur as they laughed and parted ways. Tommy and Wilbur lead Tubbo up the stairs, and Tommy’s room was right next to the stairs. 

“God, it’s been a long time since I’ve been in here,” the finch sighed as he opened the door. “Thought I’d never be back, to be honest,”

“Well, I’m glad we’re staying here then,” Tubbo nudged Tommy with his wing. “Which bed’s mine?” 

Tommy gestured to the one closer to the door as he walked over and put his satchels down on his own. “Do you want something clean to wear?” 

“God yes,” Tubbo laughed. “Who knows the last time I had that.”

Tommy grinned at him, pulling open his dresser drawers and throwing a t-shirt and shorts at his friend. “Might be a bit big on you, since you’re so short,”

“Not my fault your family are giants,” Tubbo scoffed. “Except Phil. He’s reasonably sized.”

“Reasonably sized?” Tommy burst out laughing as he also pulled out clean clothes to change into. They changed without a second thought, as they had done during the war. “C’mon, you’re going to like cooking with Phil. Especially if he’s making what I think he’s making.”

“What’s he making?” The wren asked as they left the room. 

“It’s a surprise.”


	6. Chapter 6

In all honesty, Tommy should’ve expected this.

The kitchen, and everything/everyone in it was absolutely covered in flour. 

“Suck it bitch boy!” Tommy shrieked as he jumped up on the counter in order to dump a fistful of flour into Wilbur’s hair. 

“Oh you are dead!” The hawk screeched in indignation, lunging for his younger brother. Tommy leaped away, cackling, only to be met with a face full of flour from Techno. 

While he was spluttering, Wilbur knocked him to the ground and they started wrestling as Techno just stood back and watched. Phil and Tubbo had left the kitchen when the first flour bomb had been thrown, and Phil was showing Tubbo how to make the filling at the kitchen table while his sons yelled in the background.

“Does this happen often?” Fundy asked from where he was sitting at the table, watching the fight.

“Unfortunately,” a long suffering Phil answered. “I’m thankful that Techno is so good at farming potatoes, that way we always have extras to trade in the market for more flour. The apples and key limes are just starting to ripen now, too, so we’ll have some extra money from selling those.”

Wilbur had won the wrestling match, pinning Tommy down, only to be met with a flour bomb from Techno and them to start fighting while Tommy cackled in the background.

“I try to indulge them in this,” Phil continued. “Techno doesn’t get out much since he came back from war, and with Tommy and Wilbur gone, all he does is farm potatoes. Flour battles are one thing he has fun doing, so I let them do it on occasion.”

“Is this consistency right?” Tubbo asked, and Phil leaned over and nodded. 

“How do you four know each other?” Phil asked, and Fundy shrugged. 

“Wilbur kinda just picked us up one day,” the cardinal replied. “He needed people to try to keep the town running, and once the war started, he needed everybody he could get.”

“Wait,” Phil looked at Fundy, puzzled. “War?”

“Yeah, L’manburg had declared itself independent from SMP, and they declared war on us,” Tubbo shrugged noncommittally. “We lost, that’s why we came back. They let us leave with our lives as long as we never came back.”

“Wilbur and Tommy said they were just going to start a town in SMP,” Phil seemed confused. “Their letters never said anything about a war,”

“Wilbur said he’d told you,” Fundy also seemed confused. “And that you were okay with Tommy fighting, since he’s so young.”

“Tommy fought?” Phil looked horrified. “Did you?” The owl asked Tubbo.

The wren nodded.

“WILBUR!” Phil shouted, turning around to face the kitchen. The flour battle stopped mid-throw. Tommy was sat atop Wilbur, about to throw a flour bomb at his older brother’s face. Techno had been strategically aiming to his Tommy in the back of the head. But at their father’s shout, the three brother’s paused and all turned to look guiltily at their dad. 

Phil was practically seething, his spotted feathers fluffing out as his wings half-spread out menacingly.

“You, me, outside, RIGHT NOW!” The owl growled, turning and stepping out on the front porch. 

Tommy scrambled off of Wilbur, then proceeding to help his older brother up. The hawk glanced at Fundy and Tubbo, who were both looking at him with wide, unnerved eyes. Wilbur swallowed and followed his father outside, closing the door behind him. 

As soon as the door shut, Techno thrust a broom into Tommy’s hands and they started sweeping frantically, cleaning up most of the flour by the time the yelling started. Techno checked the oven, and deeming the chicken done, he pulled it out and let it cool off on the counter. Tommy went and finished up the mini pie crusts, shaping them carefully into little bowl shapes before sticking them in the oven. 

“So what was that about?” Tommy asked as soon as the pie crusts were in the oven. 

“Apparently Wilbur never asked Phil if you could fight,” Tubbo seemed shaky. 

“Well yeah, ‘cause Dad would never agree to that,” Tommy’s face fell as he realized what his friend was saying. “You accidentally told him, didn’t you?”

“What fight?” Techno asked curiously, tilting his head.

Tubbo made eye contact with Tommy, and the finch shook his head vigorously. But Fundy hadn’t seen that. 

“We declared our independence from SMP, and they declared war on us in retaliation...” Fundy trailed off when he saw the looks that Tubbo and Tommy were giving him.

“Aha,” Techno leaned back against the kitchen counter and raised an eyebrow at them. “That’s why.”

There was a beat of silence.

“Pardon?” Tubbo asked.

Right then, Wilbur and Phil came back in. Phil still looked furious, but he was obviously trying to calm himself down a bit. Wilbur’s eyes were red like he’d been crying, but the hawk said nothing.

“Tommy, can you pour water for everyone please?” Phil asked. “Techno, set the table. Wilbur, come move the filling onto the counter.”

The owl sat down at the head of the table as his sons went to do what had been asked of them. Tubbo got up to help Wilbur put away the filling, but accidentally knocked into Tommy, who was coming around with two cups. 

One fell out of Tommy’s hands and shattered on the ground. 

_The arrow pierced the lantern, shattering the glass._

The finch yelped and dropped the second one, which Tubbo managed to catch as Tommy backed away. He was shaking violently and his started to hyperventilate as his back touched the wall. The finch’s eyes were wide, and one of his hands went to the scar on his chest, fingers scrabbling fiercely for an arrow that wasn’t there.

Wilbur grabbed Phil’s shoulder to stop him from getting up.

Similarly, Tubbo spread one of his wings out, in order to block Techno from going to Tommy, even though the kite hadn’t moved to indicate he would do so. 

The five of them watched carefully for a minute or two before Tubbo noticed that Tommy’s breathing was slowing down, no longer so rapid. The finch blinked rapidly and took a deep breath.

“S-sorry,” Tommy said shakily. Tubbo reached out his hands towards his friend and after a moment or two the finch let himself be wrapped in a hug. Tubbo could feel Tommy’s rapid heartbeat against his chest. They were like that for a few seconds before Tommy pulled away.

“You don’t have to apologize, Tommy,” Tubbo said gently. “Go sit down, I’ll get the water.”

Phil was silent, looking like he was about to cry as Tommy sat down next to him. 

Techno also finished setting the table and sat across from Tommy, on Phil’s other side. 

“So,” Techno said as soon as everyone had been served, staring straight at Tommy, who was still shaking. “I know that you’re not going to want to talk about it, but I can help you with managing your triggers more efficiently if you tell me what happened.”

Tommy’s blue eyes met Techno’s red ones, and as the finch tried to pull his memories up to the forefront of his mind, he physically recoiled away from them with gasp. He shook his head violently at Techno, trying to take deep breaths in order to calm himself down. 

“After dinner,” Phil finally spoke up. “We are having a serious family meeting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided to disregard canon. Also, I know next to nothing about Phil so my bad if he’s out of character. 
> 
> Chapters have gotten a bit short, sorry.


	7. Chapter 7

Dinner was... extremely awkward, to say the least. 

Tommy could barely hold a fork from how hard his hands were shaking. He barely ate anything on his plate, mostly just pushing it around and breaking it down to look like he’d eaten more of it then he had. Everyone noticed, but no one said anything. 

Tubbo and Fundy tried to make conversation, but it quickly turned fruitless as everyone seemed more interested in their plates than talking. 

When the pie crusts burned, everyone’s mood seemed to sour even further. Even Techno, who had been stoic for the entire meal, as he usually was, seemed upset when the pie crusts burned. 

Wilbur had gotten up to collect everyone’s dishes and put them in the sink when everyone finished. The hawk moved to start washing them when Phil stopped him.

“You aren’t getting out of this by doing chores, Wilbur,” the owl sighed.

Wilbur remained silent as he drifted back to the table and sat down. No one had moved, except Techno who seemed to be picking something out of his teeth, seeming bored. Tommy was still trembling, and didn’t pull away when Tubbo grabbed his hand from across the table.

“Do you want us to stay for this, sir?” The wren asked, looking to Phil.

“Yes, if it’s alright with you,” the owl replied, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. 

A few seconds passed by, silent.

“So,” Techno leaned back in his chair. “How’d it happen?” The kite glanced at Tommy, but his gaze then shifted to Wilbur, Fundy, and Tubbo. 

“I can’t-” Tommy started, but was cut off.

“I’m not going to ask you,” Techno interrupted nonchalantly. “You’ll panic trying to pull them to the front of your mind, like you almost did earlier. I suggest you plug your ears. I’m asking them, since I’m pretty sure they were there.” He gestured to Tubbo, Wilbur, and Fundy. 

“Well...” Tubbo hesitated, glancing at Tommy, who was making no move to cover his ears. “The boardwalk, I’m pretty sure.”

“The wall, too,” Fundy continued. “Most likely.”

They all looked to Tommy for confirmation, and the teen’s breath hitched slightly before he nodded. “I- I think so.”

“What happened?” Phil asked, gently resting a hand on the finch’s shoulder. Tommy flinched slightly at the touch, but made no move to push his father’s hand away.

“They blew up L’manburg,” Wilbur spoke up for the first time, his voice quiet and shaky. “T-tommy was upset, he challenged Dream to a duel.”

“Dream?” Phil raised an eyebrow.

“General of SMP,” Fundy explained. 

“It was just a bow and arrow. First to yield loses. We weren’t trying to kill each other or anything,” Tommy spoke very quickly, with his eyes tightly shut. His hand went to the spot where his scar was, underneath his shirt. “It was just supposed to be a game of chicken, really. Superficial shots. Nothing serious. I don’t think he meant...”

“Meant to what?” Phil asked when Tommy trailed off, but the finch shook his head violently, refusing to answer.

“He got Tommy,” Tubbo said quietly. “Right between his ribs. Here,” Tubbo pointed to the spot on himself. “They gave us a potion to heal him, in exchange for our surrender.”

“What about the wall?” Techno asked. At this point, Tommy had clamped his hands over his ears, but other than that, didn’t seemed to be panicking. He wasn’t shaking, just sitting quietly with his hands over his ears and his eyes closed. 

Wilbur slammed his fist on the table and tried to stand up, but Techno grabbed his older brother’s shoulder and pushed him back into his chair. 

“It was supposed to be me,” the hawk growled softly. “That fucker wouldn’t listen to me after Tommy disobeyed my orders. If they hadn’t held me back, I would’ve ripped those bastards apart.”

“The original plan, I think, was for Wilbur to let them do what they wanted to him in exchange for our lives,” Fundy glanced at the hawk for confirmation, but when he got no response, he continued. “Tommy wasn’t having it, and when Dream and his lackey’s saw that Tommy wasn’t obeying Wilbur’s orders, they started treating him as if he was the general instead of Wil. They wouldn’t listen to him, only Tommy.”

“Their terms of surrender were that we could leave SMP with our lives, as long as they could fire five arrows at Tommy,” Wilbur hissed softly. “They said they weren’t going to hit him, but one of them did. The last one didn’t hit, but if it had been an inch over, it would’ve hit him in the same spot as the boardwalk.”

Phil’s feathers were fluffed up with anger at the Wilbur’s words, and so were Techno’s, but Techno’s voice was calm when he spoke. 

“So, from the way you all have been acting when he’s triggered, he gets violent if you touch him, yeah?”

“Not violent, in a way,” Tubbo shrugged, tapping Tommy’s arm in order to let him know that it was safe to uncover his ears now. “Just, he panics more when you touch him during it.”

“Yeah, I may have cut Wilbur last time,” Tommy seemed embarrassed. “I’m sorry about that, still.”

“It’s fine, Tommy,” Wilbur reassured him, rolling up his sleeve to show Phil and Techno the bandages around his arm. “I should’ve known earlier that you’d probably panic when you’re touched during that.”

“You only cut him because when you’re in that state, you don’t recognize the people around you as people you know,” Techno explained. “At least, that’s how it is for me. You thought he was trying to hurt you, because you aren’t thinking logically when you’re like that.”

There was a beat of silence, in which Phil offered his hand to Tommy. The finch took it, and his father squeezed it reassuringly.

“As much as I’m upset with you for fighting, and for not telling me, your happiness means more to me than lecturing you about what you did,” Phil said softly. “You’re just a kid, and you made a mistake. Your life isn’t going to be the same anymore. You’re going to have to adjust to this. As your family, we’re going to help you with this. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do,”

“We’re going to help too,” Tubbo said fiercely, smiling at Tommy. “You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.”

“I have been trying, for two months,” the finch retorted with a grin. 

“Proves my point,” 

“Alright,” Phil was trying to hold back a smile, but was failing miserably. “I know you all had a long flight, and that this evening wasn’t exactly the most peaceful. So go get some sleep you lot.”

Everyone stood up from the table and started to depart. 

“Not you, Techno. Come help me clean up,” 

There was an audible groan from the kite as he went to go help his dad. Tommy snickered slightly, getting the finger from his brother in return.

“Good night,” Wilbur called, rolling his eyes as they separated. Fundy went towards the direction of the spare bedroom. Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur all went upstairs, with Wilbur breaking off to duck into his room while Tubbo and Tommy went into Tommy’s room.

The two teens fell into their respective beds, but as the night wore on, Tommy couldn’t sleep. 

An hour had passed, maybe longer, with Tommy pressing his face into his pillow hoping for sleep.

“Tommy?” The finch heard Tubbo ask, quietly. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” Tommy replied, turning onto his side so he could spot his friend. Tubbo was sitting up straight in his bed, looking miserable. 

“I’m just so used to being squished between you all,” Tubbo whispered to him. “It’s weird not having that now. I don’t think I can sleep like this.”

“I don’t think I can fall asleep like this either,” Tommy admitted, sitting up in bed and stretching his cramped wings. “Fundy has the biggest bed. Want to go bug him?”

Even though he couldn’t see him, Tommy could imagine the grin that was stretched across Tubbo’s face.

“Yeah.”

The two of them snuck downstairs. The light was out in the kitchen, meaning Phil and Techno had gone to bed already. They passed the kitchen and went into Fundy’s room, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

“Couldn’t sleep either?” Fundy’s voice called softly. 

“No,” Tubbo admitted. 

“Neither of us could,” Tommy added.

“I couldn’t either,” Wilbur’s voice came from inside Fundy’s room. 

“Can we squish together tonight?” Tommy asked, kind of embarrassed. “Like we did at the caravan?”

“Yeah, we can,” Fundy sounded amused, followed by the rustling of sheets. 

Tommy and Tubbo felt around for the bed and eventually got in, everybody rearranging themselves multiple times with some complaining.

“You’re gonna push me off the bed,” Fundy whined, shifting slightly. 

“Tommy, you’re on my wing,” Wilbur said grumpily. 

“Sorry,” the finch shifted until his brother moved his wing out from underneath him. 

They really were crammed together. Tommy could feel Tubbo’s heartbeat against his chest, and Wilbur started snoring softly right in his ear. But something about it felt more like home to Tommy, so he didn’t complain. 

One by one, they all fell asleep like this.

And if Tommy’s nightmares woke them all up during the night at least once or twice, no one complained. Just shushed him softly until he drifted back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I’m getting cavities from my own writing.


	8. Chapter 8

Tommy woke up slowly, without panicking. He was squished in between Wilbur and Tubbo, with one of Fundy’s wings having thrown haphazardly across everyone from somewhere behind Wilbur. Tubbo was pressed close to Tommy’s chest, so close that Tommy could feel the wren’s heartbeat. Wilbur was snoring softly into Tommy’s ear, and it was just a bit annoying. But not annoying enough to make the finch push him off. 

It took him a minute to realize that he wasn’t in the caravan. He was home, in the guest room where Fundy was supposed to be staying. They had piled in together when sleep hadn’t come the night before. 

There was light filling the room, but Tommy couldn’t tell what time it was because he was facing away from the window, and he didn’t want to disturb anyone. 

He felt at peace like this, even though it reminded him of times when the world was anything but peaceful for him. After everything that’s changed in the past few days, it was nice to still have this, at least. Tommy closed his eyes, preparing to fall back asleep again.

“They’re in here!” 

Tubbo whined and shifted against him, clearly upset about being woken by the voice. Wilbur’s snoring abruptly cut off, and Tommy felt Fundy’s wing move slightly. 

“Go away Techno,” Wilbur mumbled, his grip on one of Tommy’s wings growing tighter as if he was determined that would help him fall back asleep. 

Tommy kept his eyes shut in defiance as he heard another pair of footsteps approach the room.

“As adorable as this is,” Phil said, much too loud for the morning. “You guys need to get up. Tommy, Wilbur, you know I let you all sleep in. Farm life starts early.”

Tommy and Wilbur let out matching grumbles of annoyance.

“Fundy,” Tommy felt Wilbur shift slightly as he spoke. “The bed’s against the wall. You have to get up first unless you want me climbing over you.”

“Fuck this, not getting up,” Tommy grumbled. “You guys go if you want, but I’m staying here and cuddling with Tubbo.”

“Yay...” Tubbo mumbled sleepily into Tommy’s shoulder. 

Tommy felt the bed shift as Fundy got out, followed by Wilbur as Tommy felt him let go of his wing. 

There was whispering, causing Tommy to immediately be concerned about what his brothers were planning. He cracked one of his eyes open, mentally preparing for whatever was about to happen. 

He felt cold fingers around his ankles, and before he could yelp, he was yanked off the bed straight onto the floor, his wings flaring out instinctively and accidentally whacking Tubbo in the face with one as he went down. 

“Oh you’re dead!” Tommy shrieked, chasing a cackling Wilbur and Techno out of the room as Tubbo sat up in sleepy confusion. 

They burst into the kitchen and Tommy leapt at Techno, trying to wrestle him to the ground. The kite seemed largely unaffected by the extra weight, attempting to disentangle himself from his younger brother. It was only when the both of them partially extended their wings to keep balance when Phil stepped in.

“That’s enough! I don’t need anything broken in this house!” The owl yelled, but there was no anger behind his voice. 

The two jumped away from each other, Tommy shaking out his feathers as he landed before tucking his wings close to his back. The two of them gave Phil matching “innocent” grins as their father shook his head in mock annoyance. 

“Sometimes it’s just like you’re all boys again,” he chuckled.

“I don’t know why you’d wish that on yourself,” Wilbur raised an eyebrow. “We were all terrors as children.”

“Maybe you were, I was a great kid!” Tommy protested. 

“You still are a terror,” Techno shoved him lightly, laughing at the indignation on the finch’s face. 

“Grab an apple and sit down, it’s time to divide up chores,” Phil snapped his fingers to catch their attention. 

Everyone immediately grabbed one of the apples that were on a bowl on the counter and took a seat at the table. Even Tubbo, who was still half-asleep and just now walking into the room, did as Phil asked. 

“Now, you three know the drill, but I’m going to explain for you both what the rules are around here,” Phil gestured to Tubbo and Fundy. “First off, you can stay here as long as you’d like, provided you do your fair share of chores. Farm life starts early and ends early. Typically we wake up at dawn and go to bed shortly after dinner at sunset.”

Fundy and Tubbo both nodded. 

“We divide morning chores at breakfast, and we come back here at noon for lunch. If you aren’t done with your morning chores by noon, that’s what you’ll be working on after lunch. I typically give you guys a break after lunch to rest and have fun, unless it’s harvest season.”

“Kitchen duty rotates,” Techno inputted in between bites. “Breakfast and lunch are pretty simple, like this, but we try to make something nice for dinner. Kitchen duty is just whoever’s helping Phil make dinner and helping him clean up afterwards.”

“Tommy, Techno, and Tubbo,” Phil glanced at the three of them. “You guys will be in the fields. Tommy and Techno will show you what to do, Tubbo. Wilbur, Fundy, you’ll be on animal duty. And Wilbur, you’re on stall duty after lunch.”

“But-” The hawk tried to argue, but Phil put up a hand in warning.

“No buts. You should be glad you’re not on stall duty for the rest of the year, after what you did,” the owl gave him a warning look. “I don’t want to hear any complaining from you about this.”

Wilbur shut his mouth, looking angry and guilty at the same time, but he didn’t say another word. 

“What’s stall duty?” Tubbo leaned over and whispered to Tommy.

“Cleaning the horse shit from their stalls,” the finch whispered back. “Also cleaning out their troughs. It’s typically something we would do as a team, unless someone’s in serious trouble.”

“Alright,” Techno stood up and stretched, throwing what little remained of his apple away. “C’mon, before I leave you two to fend for yourselves.”

Tommy and Tubbo both got up, quickly finishing their apples before throwing the cores away and following Techno out the door. 

“The shed!” Tommy cheered as they approached the small building that housed all the farming equipment. 

“What’s so exciting about a shed?” Tubbo asked, confused.

“I don’t know, it’s just something we would do when we were younger,” Tommy shrugged. “Whenever we got close to the shed we would scream “THE SHED!!!!” I don’t know why.”

“Wilbur and I came up with it, before you showed up,” Techno offered. “I think I was about four, and Wilbur couldn’t have been older than six. It was just to make ourselves laugh, really.”

The wooden door squealed as they opened it, it’s hinges rusty. Tubbo honestly didn’t know what he expected. It was a shed. Full of farming tools. A handful of shovels, two rakes, a few hoes, a bunch of other stuff he didn’t have the name for. 

Techno stepped into the small wooden building and grabbed a hoe off the pile of hoes they had in one corner. The metal top scraped across another hoe, making an awful screeching noise that made Tubbo shiver. 

Tommy gave Tubbo an odd look, clearly confused. But the finch reached forward and grabbed a hoe of his own, and it also clanged against something else that was metal. 

Tubbo winced. He hated that sound. He wasn’t exactly sure why, but it freaked him out a lot in a way he couldn’t quite describe. 

“Tubbo,” Tommy said softly, catching the wren’s attention. “Are you alright?”

“... I think?” He responded, unsure. The wren’s hands were shaking a bit, but he hadn’t noticed.

Techno was looking at him oddly too, but Tubbo hadn’t really figured out the kite’s expressions yet, so it could be a normal expression for him. 

Trying to shake off whatever was bugging him, Tubbo reached and picked up a hoe, accidentally knocking it against Tommy’s as he did so. The resulting screech of metal on metal made Tubbo drop the hoe as he flinched away from the noise. 

It landed on the pile with the other hoes, and the resulting clangs were enough to cause Tubbo to clamp his hands over his ears and start trembling.

A few moments later, an unsteady hand brushed one of Tubbo’s shoulders, almost as if asking permission to touch him. The wren uncertainly released his ears, but didn’t stop shaking. Tommy was staring at him, concerned. 

“C’mon, let’s get out of here so you can calm down a bit,” the finch said softly, and the wren let his friend take him out of the shed. As soon as they were out, Tubbo let out an unsteady breath.

“S-sorry, I don’t what’s wrong with me,” he apologized.

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Tubbo,” Tommy sounded sad, and there was a look on his face that Tubbo had never really seen on him before. “What happened?”

“I- I don’t know. I’m not really sure. The noise bothered me,” Tubbo nervously tapped his fingers against his thighs, trying to help calm himself down. “It sounded- it sounded like...”

“It sounded like swords,” Tommy finished for him. “Like somebody fighting with swords.”

“Yeah,” Tubbo realized. “Yeah that’s it.”

A few seconds passed. 

“What do you want me to do?” Tommy asked, seeming very unsure of himself. “I know I don’t like to be touched when I’m panicking. Do you want me to leave you alone?”

“I don’t have what you have,” Tubbo said dismissively. “But no, don’t leave me alone. I just need to breathe for a moment.”

Tommy didn’t press the issue further, but Tubbo knew that the finch doubted that they didn’t have the same thing. Sure, Tubbo was acting a bit like Tommy usually did when he was panicking, but he could talk, he could see his surroundings clearly. Tommy couldn’t do that when he was panicking. So they must not have the same thing. 

Right?

“Are you feeling better?” Techno asked, coming out of the shed with all three hoes in hand. 

“A bit,” Tubbo lied. 

“Here then,” Techno passed him a hoe, and then gave another to Tommy. “Farm work isn’t the most glorious, but it does keep your mind off... certain things.”

The kite seemed to space off for a moment, before shaking his wings slightly and refocusing on the real world. 

“Yeah, you think about how much your back and feet hurt more than anything else,” Tommy tried to joke, but neither of them really laughed. 

“Let’s go,” Techno started walking, fast. Tubbo had to practically jog to keep up with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me tooth and nail. Not sorry for the angst.


	9. Chapter 9

By the time they went inside for lunch, Tommy was sweaty and exhausted. He’d forgotten how tough the farm could be, but like Techno said, it did keep the mind off of things. 

But Tommy hadn’t forgotten how Tubbo had acted earlier that morning. He was worried. Was that how everyone felt like when he was panicking? Helpless and concerned?

Phil was in the kitchen, cutting a freshly baked loaf of bread into thick slices. Just the smell alone was making Tommy’s stomach rumble fiercely. 

“Smells good sir!” Tubbo chirped, smiling softly. He seemed completely fine. Like nothing had happened. But Tommy saw the slight twitches of the wren’s feathers, similar to how his own would move when he was on the verge of panicking.

“It’s Phil,” the owl chuckled softly. “How was it?”

“Painful,” Tommy remarked, cracking his back to emphasize his point. His wings were cramped from being folded against his back for so long, and they were hot from the sun. 

“Ah, the farm life usually is,” Techno shrugged, getting some glasses to pour everyone water. 

“Where’s Wilbur and Fundy?” Tubbo asked. 

“Finishing up, I bet,” Phil replied, putting the sliced bread on the table. He then laid out goat cheese, butter, jam, and honey out on the table. “Techno, remind me to get more honey when we go to the market on Saturday,”

The kite grunted in response. 

Eventually, Wilbur and Fundy did come inside. And they all sat down at the table in what was now becoming their usual spots. Phil at one head of the table, Wilbur at the other. Techno and Tommy sitting on either side of Phil, with Tubbo next to Tommy by Wilbur and Fundy next to Techno. 

They ate in silence for the most part, with Fundy and Tubbo carrying a small conversation between themselves about what they had learned. Phil added in a few things as well, mostly about how he was glad Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur weren’t rubbish teachers. It caused everyone to laugh whenever he mentioned it, as they knew that it was just Phil teasing and trying to lighten the mood. 

Tommy half-expected Techno to talk to Tubbo about what happened that morning in front of everyone, like he’d done with Tommy the previous night. He was surprised when he didn’t.

_Because he doesn’t know Tubbo,_ Tommy realized as everyone was helping clean up. _It’s different when it’s about me, because I’m his little brother and everyone at that table knows me. But Tubbo is a stranger to him and Phil, he’s trying not make him uncomfortable._

_Ha. Maybe you aren’t completely lacking in social skills after all, big man._

After they had cleaned up the kitchen and Wilbur went to do stall duty, Techno had left to go pull weeds in the garden where they grew herbs and some fruit. Tommy pulled Fundy and Tubbo off to the side, still in the house. 

“Alright, so there’s a game that me and Wilbur play with Techno,” Tommy was practically grinning from ear-to-ear. “Where we try to throw something at him, and if we hit him, we get a point. If we get him in the head, we get five points. Simple, right?”

“What’s the catch?” Fundy raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Well... Techno has really good reflexes. Like, extremely good reflexes. He can catch pretty much anything you throw at him,” Tommy explained. “In the about three years we’ve been playing this, me and Wilbur only have one point each.”

“So, you want us to throw something at your brother,” Fundy seemed unimpressed.

“Essentially. But don’t worry! He knows about the game and he says he likes it because it keeps him on his toes.”

“Just don’t throw a rock at him,” Phil said from the kitchen. “Last time Tommy and Wilbur threw rocks, Techno caught them and threw them back. Unfortunately, Tommy and Wilbur don’t have the best reflexes. It was pretty hilarious to watch though.”

“We had bruises for weeks,” Tommy grumbled, rubbing one of his arms as if it still hurt. 

“Throw these, they’re overripe. We’ll make it into feed later,” Phil passed a few apples over. 

“I still don’t think this is the best idea,” Tubbo whispered. 

“Don’t worry, if he get’s mad he’ll only beat the shit out of me, not you guys,” Tommy said, sounding very cheerful for someone talking about getting his ass kicked. 

They finally left the house as silently as possible, and as soon as they were within distance, Tommy chucked the apple at Techno while the kite was bending over to pull a weed out of the ground. 

Techno, without even looking, caught the apple in his other hand as he straightened up and looked over at them with one eyebrow raised. 

“Really?” The kite asked, sounding unimpressed. “You’re getting them in on this too? You’re fighting a losing battle here.”

“Not technically! Both me and Wilbur got you once!” Tommy protested. 

“Yeah, because you did it while I was sleeping!”

“You think I can get him while they’re arguing?” Tubbo whispered.

“We’ll both do it,” Fundy responded, his voice also quiet.

While Tommy and Techno argued over the logistics of their game, Tubbo and Fundy reared back and threw their apples at Techno.

The kite, distracted, only realized what was happening when he felt something hit against his thigh. He looked down, and barely managed to see the apple that was rolling away from his leg when the second one beamed him right in the forehead. 

Techno stumbled slightly, looking shocked as he glanced over at Tubbo and Fundy, who were now both missing their apples. 

“HA!” Tubbo shrieked, his wings beating excitedly. “I got him! In the head too!”

“Jesus Christ Tubbo!” Tommy looked stunned. “First try too! Good going, Big T!”

“I thought I was Big T,” Techno grumbled, rubbing his forehead slightly from where Tubbo had hit him. 

“You’ve been replaced,” Tommy grinned, cackling at the glare his older brother gave him. 

The kite took a step forward, almost in warning. Tommy shrieked loudly and took to the air before Techno could come any closer, beating his wings to stay up.

“You’re going to have to catch me if you want to beat my ass!” The finch challenged. 

He yelped though, the second that he saw Techno rushing up to meet him. 

“Tubbo, Fundy!” Tommy shrieked. “1A4! 1A4!”

“Should we help him?” Fundy asked, raising an eyebrow at the teen’s predicament. 

“It’d give us some time to practice,” Tubbo shrugged, shaking out his wings. “Plus, it’s good exercise!”

“Ugh, fine,” Fundy rolled his eyes, and the two took to the air. 

Techno was a bird of prey, unlike the other three. He was faster, with a bigger wingspan. They couldn’t outrun him.

1A4 was a move they had used on Dream once, because Dream was also a bird of prey that was faster than them. The second time they tried to use it though, was less successful, as Dream had recognized it and used their tactics against them.

But Techno had never seen it before.

Fundy slid over Tommy, flying just above him, while Tubbo went under. Techno was closing in on them, and fast. 

Fundy reached down and grabbed Tommy by his shoulders, careful not to interfere with his wings, and suddenly banked hard to the left. As planned, Tommy pulled his wings in as Fundy dragged him off to the side. He only opened them again once they had gone behind Techno.

The kite in question halted, beating his wings hard as he looked around in confusion. Then he spotted Tubbo diving.

The way this worked was that when you’re flying at high speeds, you can’t see the pattern on everyone else’s wings, just the colors. Tommy and Tubbo had similar, if not quite the same, color on their feathers. So depending on who the target was, 1A4 worked well. 

It worked on Techno too.

The kite dove down to try to catch up with Tubbo, who he thought was Tommy. Moments before Tubbo acted, Techno realized the move he was about to pull, and tried to jerk out of the dive to avoid it. It didn’t work, unfortunately, as Tubbo suddenly snapped out his wings fully, and it sent him jerking upwards and straight into the kite.

Techno lost his balance, fumbling, before hitting the ground awkwardly. He didn’t get up right away, though. Tommy was the first one to realize what was going on.

“Oh shit-” the finch cursed, wanting to dive towards the ground but knowing that it would only end up like it had the previous two times. “Fucking- Fundy, I think he’s panicking. Go get Phil,”

“What?” 

“Remember? How Techno has the same thing I do? I think he’s been triggered. I can’t dive to go help. Get Phil!” Tommy snapped at him, starting the slow circling motion that he hated so much. Fundy, thankfully, dove towards the house and hopefully went inside. Tubbo was on the ground now, with Techno, but not close to him. 

Finally, finally, Tommy reached the ground and cautiously made his way towards Techno. 

The kite was on his hands and knees, his head hung low with his eyes shut tightly. His wings were half spread, with the feathers puffed out. Techno was taking large, deep breaths while his fingers dug into the dirt beneath him. 

About a minute later, as Phil was rushing out of the house, Techno sat up and ran a hand through his hair, laughing weakly. 

“Wilbur teach you to do that?” The kite asked, his attention on Tommy.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know that-” 

“It’s fine,” Techno took a deep breath, exhaling shakily. “The whole “pulling out of a dive to slam into the person above you” was an old military trick. Wilbur and I do it to each other all the time and it’s never been an issue. I get surprised sometimes about what makes me panic. It wasn’t your fault,” 

“Are you okay?” Phil asked.

“Yeah yeah,” Techno waved him off, glancing at Tommy again. “They pulled a fast one on me. I didn’t even know that it wasn’t you until he was asking me if I was okay.” He pointed to Tubbo. “Where’d you come up with that, anyhow? Not the diving thing, the whole switcharoo?”

“Well, me and Tommy have similar colorings,” Tubbo said awkwardly, holding out a wing and waiting until Tommy held out his next to the wren’s. “When you’re flying real fast, and when you’re close to the person you’re getting, it gets hard to tell who’s who when the colorings similar. If we tried to pull that trick with Fundy being the distraction, you’d know because Fundy’s wings are bright red, not tan and brown.”

“Makes an easy getaway,” Fundy shrugged. “Especially the stun at the end. Gives us a chance to get out of the sky with our lives.”

“Sometimes I forget you had to think like that,” Techno shook his head. “Help me up?” 

Tommy and Phil grabbed either of Techno’s arms and pulled him to his feet.

“That’s enough excitement for one day,” Phil chuckled. “You all stink. When was the last time you showered?”

Fundy, Tubbo, and Tommy glanced at each other guiltily.

“I mean... we jumped in the river every now and then,” Tubbo offered. 

“Like, at least once a week, if the fighting wasn’t too bad,” Fundy nodded. 

“Go shower,” Techno shoved Tommy slightly. “Before you start stinking up the house,”

Tommy laughed slightly, glancing at the others briefly as they went inside.


	10. Chapter 10

Dinner was largely uneventful, other than Wilbur laughing his ass off when he heard that Tubbo managed to hit Techno in the head with an apple on his first try. If looks could kill, Wilbur would be dead from the glare he was getting from Techno.

That night, after Wilbur had taken a shower, Tubbo found himself in the kitchen, cleaning up while Phil took his own shower. 

He also found himself in the crosshairs of a certain red kite. 

Tubbo turned around when he felt eyes on him, and jumped when he saw Techno staring right at him. 

“That’s very unsettling, just standing there without saying anything,” Tubbo pointed out after they had stared at each other for a few seconds in silence. 

“I wanted to talk,” Techno gave him what Tubbo thought was an unimpressed look. “About what happened earlier.”

“Look, I know I was freaking out over nothing. I’m sorry,” Tubbo sighed. 

There was an uncomfortable pause. 

“Listen, I don’t know you. Which is why I didn’t confront you about this at lunch or dinner,” Techno said. “But you weren’t freaking out over nothing. You were panicking. I heard what you said to Tommy, that the hoes scraping against each other sounded like a sword fight.”

Tubbo went silent. He did not want to have this conversation right now, especially with someone he barely knew. 

“Tommy’s too nice. He didn’t want to correct you while you were trying to calm down. Unfortunately, I’m not so nice. You were panicking, kid. You have the same thing me and Tommy do.”

“No, I don’t,” Tubbo denied it. “It’s different. I knew what was around me, I was okay with Tommy touching me. That’s not how it is with you guys. I was just freaking out over nothing. That’s all.”

“Trauma affects people in different ways,” Techno pointed out. “Yours is probably less severe, but you still have it. You can’t deny that.”

“I can deny it, because I don’t have it,” Tubbo snapped, slamming a hand down on the counter. “I’m fine. There isn’t anything wrong with me. I’m done talking about this.”

“If you keep telling yourself you’re okay when you’re not, you’ll only make yourself worse,” Techno replied calmly, trying to diffuse the situation. 

“I am okay!” Tubbo retorted. “I’m fine, I was freaking out over nothing! Just drop it!”

Surprisingly, Techno said nothing else, just stared at him for a moment longer. Then, as quick and silently as he’d came, the kite left. Yet Tubbo didn’t miss the twitching of Techno’s wings that signaled he was frustrated.

That night, shortly after the sun had set, everyone went to bed exhausted. Tommy and Tubbo tried to sleep in their own beds again, but it was fruitless, and within the hour they were at Fundy’s door, asking to stay with him again that night.

Tommy had found himself at the edge of the bed, opposite the wall. Tubbo was next to him, with Fundy on Tubbo’s other side and Wilbur up against the wall. Tommy threw one of his wings over the other three, letting his other wing droop from the bed and rest on the ground. 

And like the previous night, he was comforted until he fell asleep when he woke up during the night due to nightmares.

———

Days blurred into weeks at the farm. Eventually, Wilbur, Tubbo, and Tommy gave up on trying to sleep in their own beds and essentially moved in to the guest room with Fundy. Although there was mild grumbling from time to time about the lack of space on the bed, no one really protested to it. 

Phil seemed to think it was adorable. Techno thought it was hilarious. They both got pillows thrown at them if they commented on it while they stood in the doorway in the mornings to get them out of bed. 

Techno always caught the pillows, so they never got the satisfaction of hitting him properly. 

Before they knew it, it had been a month since they had arrived at the farm.

And now it was market day.

Tubbo hummed quietly to himself as he helped Phil set up the tables of their stall. Techno and Wilbur, being tall, were setting up the canopy to keep the sun off of them while they were selling stuff. This wasn’t the first market day they’d had, as they flew out to town for it every week. 

They would typically rotate who worked the stall and who wandered around the market throughout the day, and Tubbo was excited to go see the beekeeper who sold honey. He was trying to get Phil to allow him to have a hive at the farm, but it was taking some serious convincing. 

———

“Hey Phil!” Chirped a cheerful voice, and Tommy turned around and grinned at the owner.

“Hey there Bad,” Phil smiled at the raven who had stopped by his stall.

“Ever going to give me this key lime tart recipe?” Bad asked, a wide smile on his face as he slid a few coins across the table. 

“I will when you give me one of your muffin recipes,” Phil raised an eyebrow back, taking the coins and passing over the tart. 

They both chuckled. 

“My little brother’s in town from SMP,” Bad spoke up, glancing at Tommy with a smile. “I don’t know if you know him, but he brought some of his old friends out. Said they had someone to apologize to?”

“Don’t know who that’d be,” Tommy shrugged.

“Nick came down?” Phil asked. “I thought you guys hadn’t spoken in forever since you moved to town a few years back.”

“Just the occasional letter,” Bad shrugged. “I’m glad he came to visit though. He and his friends are here helping me with the stall. They’re not early risers, had to drag them out by their feathers this morning.”

“Feels like I have to do that with this lot sometimes,” Phil rolled his eyes. 

“But you love us!” Wilbur called from where he was a few stalls away, grinning.

“Unfortunately,” Phil raised an eyebrow at him, but he couldn’t hide his own smile. 

Tommy chuckled, his attention shifting as he saw a flash of color behind Bad. 

He nearly dropped his tray of tarts he’d been holding at the blue jay who was facing away from them, at the stall across from theirs.

Surely not. Blue jays were pretty common. There’s no way. George wasn’t the only brown haired, short blue jay in the world. It wasn’t him. 

But Tommy couldn’t stop his hands from shaking violently, so he just turned his back towards Bad and the blue jay and held his wings in a way that blocked himself from their vision. 

He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths to try and calm himself down. He felt someone gently take the tarts from him, so someone had seen him have a minor freak out. 

It took him less than a minute to calm his rapidly beating heart. Tommy sighed, opening his eyes and turning back around. Bad was giving him a confused look, but he seemed to be mostly focused on chatting with Phil. It had been Techno who had taken the tray of tarts from him, and the kite didn’t say a word. Not even as he noticed that Tommy was calm again. 

The blue jay Tommy had thought he’d seen was gone, nowhere to be found.

“What do you say I can wrangle one of you guys over to my stall to buy some muffins?” Bad asked. “It should be illegal for you all to barely eat anything in the mornings. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”

“Yeah sure,” Phil chuckled. “Tommy, Techno, you want to go? I can handle the stall by myself for a few minutes. If you pass Wilbur or Tubbo, send them over.” 

Tommy gave him a mock salute as they left. Once they were a short distance away, he felt Techno elbow him in the ribs.

“What happened?” The kite asked, glancing at him.

“Just thought I saw someone I knew. That’s all,” Tommy shivered slightly, despite the hot sun. 

They stopped at the stall that had the patterned canopy above it that Bad always used. 

“Hey, can I get six lemon blueberry and six banana cream,” Tommy asked, not looking at the person at the counter, digging in his pockets for the money. “Bad hasn’t changed the prices has he?”

When he got no answer, Tommy looked up, confused, his hands still rooting around in his pants and hoodie pockets. 

And his blood ran cold. 

To be fair, he was pretty sure that he wasn’t the only one. 

Sapnap, with wide eyes, and a puffed up feathers, stood behind the counter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a weird timeskip in the middle, sorry if it’s confusing.
> 
> IM SORRY FOR NOT UPLOADING YESTERDAY THIS CHAPTER WAS TRYING TO KILL ME I SWEAR


	11. Chapter 11

It was a stand off. The two of them staring at each other with matching frightened expressions. Tommy felt his breathing increase until he was practically hyperventilating. He backed up, bumping into Techno and almost falling over from how bad he was shaking. 

His older brother caught him, but quickly let him go as soon as Tommy had found his balance again. The brief moment of contact nearly sent the finch shrieking and throwing punches, but as soon as he was let go, the feeling went away.

“I- I didn’t-” Sapnap stuttered, but Tommy clamped his hands over his ears to block out the sound of his voice. 

_A cry of triumph._

His fingers immediately felt the nick on his ear that Sapnap had left him. 

_“Oops, my bad,”_

_“Oops, my bad,”_

_**“Oops, my bad,”**_

__

_**“OOPS, MY BAD,”** _

__

_**“AT LEAST THEY’LL MATCH NOW.”** _

Tommy’s breath hitched, and he felt his fingernails start to dig into his scalp hard enough to make him bleed. His eyes slammed shut and he felt tears start welling up in them.

He so desperately wanted it to stop. He didn’t want this. He just wanted to buy muffins. 

_Why? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-_

Slowly, slowly, he started to hear distorted conversation, muffled by his hands being over his ears. The voices of the past that had been echoing in his brain had faded. 

Tommy blinked open his eyes. He was on the ground, on his knees. When did that happen? Wasn’t he standing up just a minute ago? He stared at the ground, nervous to look anywhere else in case it sent him panicking again. 

He uncovered his ears, wincing slightly as pain came from the cuts he’d made with his fingernails. Tommy stared at his hands, the tips of his fingers stained red from his blood. 

Tommy looked up, seeing and hearing his family shouting in anger at Sapnap and George. Dream was standing off to the side, not saying a word. His mask was gone, and he’d traded his signature green hoodie for a plain t-shirt and jeans. No one was shouting at the eagle, who had folded his large wings tightly against his back.

_‘Cause they don’t know who he is,_ Tommy thought, a laugh bubbling up in his chest that he desperately fought to keep down. They’ve never seen him without that damn mask of his. The only way they’d be able to recognize him is if they saw his wing pattern. And he’s deliberately folding his wings so they can’t see it. 

_Oh you clever green bastard._

———

Techno wasn’t sure what happened when Tommy had seen the man working Bad’s stall. Just they had froze instantly upon noticing each other. There was a blonde guy in the stall with the other one, who’d also stiffened at the sight of Tommy.  
Tommy stepped backward, bumping into Techno and almost falling over because of it. The kite caught him, righted him, and quickly let him go, noticing that the finch was panicking again. 

“I- I didn’t-” the buzzard from the stall stuttered, but stopped when Tommy’s hands went over his ears. 

“It’s okay man, not your fault,” Techno shrugged. “He has trauma. I don’t know what’s made him freak out, but don’t beat yourself up about it,”

“I...” the buzzard said weakly, looking at Tommy with horror on his face. “I’m sorry-”

“What the FUCK are you doing here?!” Techno heard Wilbur yell. Techno turned, and his older brother was glaring at the buzzard with murder in his eyes.

“We just-” the man flinched, as did the eagle behind him. 

“What’s going on?” Bad had come over too, followed by a short, brown haired blue jay. “Tommy, are you alright?” The raven stepped forward, but Techno flung out one of his wings to stop him. Bad looked stunned, looking at Techno in confusion.

“He’s panicking,” Techno explained. “He doesn’t know what’s happening right now. If you touch him, he’ll fight back.” 

“You just couldn’t leave us alone, could you?!” Wilbur yelled. “Wasn’t enough to traumatize Tommy and kick us all out, you had to come and find us and rub it in, huh?!”

The entire market was staring at them at this point, and Techno stiffened, glancing between Wilbur and the buzzard. 

“Explain,” the kite snapped, staring at his older brother with narrowed eyes.

“He’s one of the one’s who shot at Tommy,” Tubbo, who Techno hadn’t noticed had arrived until that point, answered. Phil and Fundy were both standing beside him. Techno was a little concerned at the fact the wren’s wings were twitching angrily. 

“YOU DID WHAT?!” Bad whirled around and stared at the buzzard in shock, his wings poofing up.

“That one too,” Fundy spat, gesturing at the blue jay with Bad.

“L-listen,” the blue jay stammered. “We flew out to apologize. We were going to stop by in a couple days-”

“Oh, and you’re buddy Dream decided he was too good to come out too?” Wilbur was seething. 

Techno was seriously considering stepping forward and ripping the buzzard and blue jay limb from limb, regardless of whether they were in public or not. He was pretty sure Phil was too, the way his wings were acting. 

Everyone fell into startled silence at the sound of laughter, and their eyes shifted to the source.

It was Tommy, kneeling on the ground (when did he get there? Wasn’t he upright a minute ago?) clutching his hands together against his chest and laughing hysterically. Everyone stared at him for a moment as he shakily got up and looked directly at the blonde guy who was behind the buzzard in the stall. 

“You three have a lot of balls,” Tommy was grinning, but his tone was anything but pleasant. It was venomous. Techno saw Tubbo shiver slightly at Tommy’s words. “Coming here to apologize. As if that will change anything.”

“Three?” Fundy whispered to Wilbur, who shrugged in return. 

“We didn’t mean-” the blue jay tried to speak up, but fell silent when Tommy shot him a glare.

“You didn’t mean to? Is that what you’re going to say?” The finch spat. “You didn’t mean to shoot arrows at me when I was freaking out? Describing it as a lesson, treating it as a game? Did you laugh when I freaked out and cut Wilbur? Did it give you all a good chuckle at my expense?”

The silence surrounding them was so thick that you could here a pin drop.

“If I had known,” the buzzard spoke quickly, to get his word in before Tommy interrupted him. “If any of us had known, it would’ve never happened. We wouldn’t have even done it to Wilbur, if we’d known. I don’t speak for Dream, but I’m pretty sure on that.”

“Why not let the man talk for himself?” Tommy asked bitterly, the smile still on his face as his gaze shifted to the blonde guy. 

Techno noticed that the guy had folded his wings in tightly, so no one could see what his pattern or species was. His wings were very large, though. Maybe an eagle?

“You made a mistake showing me your face that day,” Tommy hissed as everyone except the buzzard, the blue jay, and the (maybe) eagle stared at him dumbly.“The most guarded part of yourself, shown to your enemy, to flaunt the fact that you had won. I see your face and your damn mask every night in my nightmares. Isn’t it ironic? The man who calls himself Dream, haunting my dreams? I get a kick out of it every now and then.”

“I’m sorry,” Dream whispered. “I didn’t know. None of what happened should have happened. I should’ve just let you leave. Kicked you out when you were clearly losing instead of letting you drag it along. I shouldn’t have agreed to the duel. Then you’d be here, happy. I can’t change what I did. All I wanted by coming here was a chance to apologize.”

They stared at each other for a minute, Tommy glaring at him viciously. 

“Alright,” Techno cracked his knuckles. “Enough talk. I’m about to rip you from limb to limb, motherfucker.”

“Normally, I’d stop you,” Phil commented, looking furious. “But I don’t think I will. In fact, I call dibs on the first punch.”

Dream took a step back, his hand fumbling for a sword that wasn’t there. 

Right as Techno took a menacing step forward, Tommy flung out a wing to stop him. Everyone’s attention snapped back to the finch.

“I don’t forgive you,” Tommy spat bitterly. “Nor do I forgive those two assholes. And I would love to see my dad and my brother tear you apart. You don’t deserve my mercy.”

There was a pause, and Tommy looked towards Bad, who looked furious and terrified at the same time. Furious, because of what Sapnap had done, and terrified that he was about to see his little brother be killed.

“But Bad doesn’t deserve to watch any of you get hurt,” Tommy said softly, his venomous expression softening. “And you once extended me the courtesy of leaving with my life. It’s only right that I do the same. Honor is honor, after all.” Tommy turned his gaze back to dream, a menacing light coming into his eyes once more. “But if I see any one of you anywhere near my family again, I won’t stop them next time. Hell, I’ll even join them.”

There was another pause. This conversation seemed to be full of them.

“Except Bad. You’re the best and you’re allowed over whenever you like, because we love you,” Tommy added. Bad cracked a smile.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Tubbo mumbled, stepping forward and latching onto Tommy’s arm. They all turned and left, quickly packing up their stall, and taking their stuff with them. 

Once they got home, even though it was dinner time, Tommy, Tubbo, Fundy, and Wilbur all got into a pile on the floor in the guest bedroom. Surprisingly, less than an hour later, Phil and Techno joined them, though they were a lot less used to being squished together with other bodies.

It didn’t take long for everyone to fall asleep like that, on the floor with a few pillows thrown about in the pile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SOBBING FROM MY OWN FUCKING WRITING WHAT IS THIS SHIT
> 
> Also, as much as I love writing this story, there’s probably not going to be many chapters after this one. Prepare yourselves.


	12. Chapter 12

Techno had been fifteen and Wilbur seventeen when Tommy’s was brought into their lives.

Tommy was a quiet, angry ten year old that Phil had dragged home. A permanent scowl on his face with hollow cheeks and ill-fitting clothes. His wings were dead weights on his back and his feathers were all over the place, most of them bent or barely hanging on. You could count his ribs, and he hated being touched.

Phil had brought him home, plopped him down at the table, and shoved food in front of him without even acknowledging that he hadn’t ever been there before.

Tommy scarfed down the food quickly and without saying a word, his eyes glancing at Wilbur and Techno with a fierce glare, as if daring them to try and take it from him.

They hid their amusement and annoyance, and didn’t acknowledge him at all, just accepting his presence.

Phil forced him to take a shower, and then gave him the guest room to sleep in.

Once they knew that Tommy was asleep (hours after he’d been told to get some rest, as Tommy understandably didn’t trust them), they talked about his arrival.

“Dragging home another stray, huh?” Techno had deadpanned. After all, Wilbur had been brought home essentially the same way, over ten years ago at that point.

“If he stays,” Phil had sighed.

Wilbur had laughed. “As if you’d let him leave in the state he’s in.”

Tommy didn’t trust them. His wings were drawn so close to his body that no one could even tell what species he was, or if his wings small nature was because he was a small bird or if it was malnourishment.

He didn’t speak a word the next morning, only reluctantly coming down to eat breakfast.

Phil had offered to show him how to help out around the farm when he was strong enough, but he’d only gotten a blank, confused stare.

Tommy hadn’t thought he was going to stay in order to be strong again.

Wilbur and Phil had tried asking questions. How old are you? What’s your name? How long have you been on your own? What’s would you prefer to eat?

The only answer they hadn’t gotten was for the last question.

“I don’t give a shit,” Tommy had rasped in a croaky, underused voice that was barely audible or understandable. “Food’s food. I’ll take whatever you give me until you stop giving me it.”

Tommy had resumed eating, and he missed the look that Techno, Phil, and Wilbur shared over his head.

A mutual, silent agreement broke between the three of them.

This kid’s staying.

———

A week later, they finally got his name.

Surprisingly, Techno was the one who managed to get it.

“I gotta stop calling you kid in my head,” Techno had said. “At least give me a nickname or something. Or a fake name. I don’t give a shit. You think my real name’s Techno? Even Phil doesn’t know what my real name is.”

Tommy hadn’t answered for a little while, just standing there staring at him as he cleaned up the kitchen after dinner.

But as Techno passed him, going up the stairs to bed, Tommy had whispered his response.

“Tommy,” he had said, in a voice barely above a whisper. “They called me Tommy.”

“Sounds good,” Techno had replied without missing a beat, continuing up the stairs without another word.

Techno hadn’t told Phil or Wilbur Tommy’s name, figuring it was something Tommy had to tell them himself.

Tommy had been surprised by this when the next morning, all three of them didn’t say his name once. He’d caught Techno’s eye while Wilbur and Phil weren’t looking and nodded slightly.

Techno had nodded back.

They never spoke of it after that.

Not even when Tommy had finally told Phil and Wilbur his name three days after he’d told Techno.

Phil and Wilbur still don’t know, even six years later.

The scowl, the angry eyes, the hidden wings. They never went away.

———

Wilbur was the one who caught him trying to sneak away from them three weeks after he’d first arrived.

“You won’t get far, y’know,” Wilbur had said nonchalantly, causing Tommy to freeze in the windowsill of the guest bedroom. “Phil will be searching for you before sunrise if you leave now.”

It had been very early morning, perhaps three in the morning.

“Dunno why,” Tommy had said gruffly. “I’m just another mouth to feed. I’m just some kid. What’s so special about me that he dragged me here?”

That was the most he’d ever said at one time before, but Wilbur didn’t miss a beat with responding.

“Phil’s too empathetic for his own good,” Wilbur had said. “He can’t take in every kid, y’know. So he takes in the ones he can. Me and Techno are both just kids he picked up when we were younger who he unofficially adopted.”

Tommy hadn’t responded, just staring at him as he continued.

“You’re a fool if you think you’ll be able to get away,” Wilbur had continued. “The moment you stepped through that door you became one of us. I should know. I tried running once. I feel shit about that choice now. If you’re going to go, then go. But don’t be surprised when you’re hauled back here shortly after dawn.”

With that, Wilbur had left. Leaving Tommy halfway out the window, thinking.

In the end, Tommy had stayed.

Wilbur never said a word to either Phil or Techno about their interaction that night. He never mentioned it again to Tommy either.

Six years later, Tommy was glad he hadn’t ran.

———

A month and a half after his arrival at the farm was when he admitted he needed help.

He’d gone to Phil in the middle of the night, crying from the pain in his feathers but desperately trying not to make a noise. It was the first time the scowl had left his face, the first time anger wasn’t present in his eyes. The first time his wings weren’t pulled tightly against his back to ensure no one could tell what species he was.

Tommy’s feathers had throbbed incessantly, each one sending its own spike of pain through him every time he moved. It had been getting bad, due to his lack of grooming them, but at that point it had been unbearable.

So he’d gone to Phil.

Phil had been sleeping, so his confusion when he saw a crying Tommy standing in his doorway increased, but his concern was overpowering.

They spent the rest of the night together, as Phil preened Tommy’s badly damaged feathers and softly running a hand through his hair while muttering encouraging words when he had to pull the ones that were beyond hope of saving.

Tommy had fallen asleep against Phil afterwards, as the sun came up. Phil followed suit not long after. Techno had opened the door to see why Phil was sleeping in so late, but when he’d seen the sight, he just closed the door once more.

When Tommy woke up later that morning, his wings no longer hurting and curled into Phil’s chest unharmed, he decided that he was going to stay. Forever.

Phil never spoke of that night to Techno and Wilbur, though he did mention it to Tommy sometimes when they were alone.

———

So now, as Tommy woke up into a pile of limbs and fluffed up feathers, surrounded by family (that nowof course included Tubbo and Fundy) and warmth and heat and safety, he decided for the second time in his life that he was going to stay.

Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> God, I don’t know what to say here. This book was my first MCYT fic on ao3, and it’s what got me into actually posting the rest of my ideas here. The overwhelming support that you all have given me through the process of writing The Price of a Life is so wonderful, and I can’t thank you enough.
> 
> All I can say is, I will be saying goodbye to this universe for now. This is the end of The Price of a Life. These guys will always have a place in my heart, but it’s time to move on and explore new ideas. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading and commenting and leaving kudos, even when I haven’t updated this fic in a while. I love and appreciate you all.
> 
> Follow me on Twitter for alerts on my other fics: @Rose12610
> 
> Thank you, and goodnight.
> 
> <3
> 
> -R

**Author's Note:**

> Reference for who’s what:
> 
> (Not location based, I chose based on coloring and species)
> 
> Wilbur: Harrier Hawk  
> Fundy: Cardinal  
> Dream: Tawny Eagle  
> George: Blue-Jay  
> Sapnap: Buzzard  
> Tommy: House Finch  
> Tubbo: Carolina Wren  
> Phil: Spotted Owl  
> Techno: Red Kite


End file.
